Broken

*Chapter 39|Coward*

*edited*

One chapter left.

Mild abuse scenes ahead.

•Asher's P.O.V

(7 year old asher) And yes he is three years older thank Bianca.

"Don't disappoint me," my father told me harshly and slapped the weapon on my palm.

"B-but bi-bi's my friend," I tell him, looking at the heavy object. My eyes watered, "I-I ca-can't kil-" Before I could finish his hand went in contact with my cheek hardly. I fell to the ground, holding back a cry.

Tears escaped my eyes and I glared at my father, my hands shaking.

I hate you, I wanted to say but I kept my mouth shut. I'll only get punished.

"You will do what I ask you. Now get out of my sight," he snapped.

I left quietly, letting the tears fall. I rushed to my room and closed the door, throwing the gun on the floor and walking to my bed.

I hate him so much.

He's going to make me kill my best friend.

Someone knocked on my door, "Asher are you in here?" I heard my mom ask, "dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry! Go away!.. please..." I yell at her and bury my face in my pillows, I heard her sigh and her retrieving footsteps.

Another knock sounded on my door, "dude, you okay?" I recognised the voice, it was Blake.

I walked to the door and pulled it open, he stood there in a football shirt and shorts with a football underneath his armpit. I let him in without hesitation.

(Not American football. Soccer)

Immediately when I closed the door he pulled me into a hug, "I heard," he muttered.

I let the tears fall, "I hate him," I tell him, my voice low.

"It'll be okay. I'm here for you bro."

-

I stood in the garden, men fighting around me. No one noticed me, not even her.

There she stood, in her cute little dress, her pretty black hair in pigtails and a bear in her hands.

My hands shook, I could feel my father watching me from afar and the pressure rose. I raised the gun, remembering how they taught me, my eyes watered and my lips quivered.

She was looking around, as if searching for someone. This was the perfect time, when she's unaware.

I really don't want to do this, how can I kill my her? My own best friend. If this is what the mafia life is like I want nothing to do with it. I don't want to become a monster like my father.

"I'm sorry," I let out and her eyes met mine. My cheeks become red.

I closed my eyes and pull the trigger, then I heard her scream which broke my heart. I didn't want to look, I couldn't. I'll hate myself even more if I do.

I turned around and met my father's approving eyes, I felt tears water mine.

'I'm a big boy, I shouldn't cry this much.' My father would say.

I turned back hesitantly, finally mustering up the courage to look at her and I froze.

There on the ground lay Aunty Marie - Bianca's mother. A bullet plunged in her chest and blood gushing out of the wound. I took steps back in shock, the gun fell from my fingers and landed on the ground.

Bianca fell to the ground unconscious, uncle Ronaldo was with his wife on his knees, tears pouring out of his eyes.

I did this.

I felt my body shake, the guilt eating me alive.

So I did the thing any coward like me would do.

I ran.

* * *

"I-I'm so sorry," I tell Bianca. She just stood there, watching me with tears brimmed eyes. Her whole body soaked from the cold wet rain pouring mercilessly on her soft skin.

She didn't speak which scared me even more. My cheek still stung from the slap but I didn't really process the pain well.

I waited for her to say something, anything.

"You're joking right? It couldn't have been you, I-"

"It was me," I admit, hanging my head low.

"You lied to me!" She yelled, I winced and bit my lip. The disappointment in her voice killed me, "I trusted you."

My heart broke and I felt the coward in me surface, my breathing became heavier and I looked up at her one last time, "I know you'll never forgive me. But I'm so sorry, you have no idea how terrible I felt. I - I didn't mean to, I swear —"

She shook her head in disbelief, while stumbling back and I was afraid she would faint. "I can't believe..." She trailed off before her eyes closed and she lost consciousness.

I caught her before she fell to the ground and rushed through the rain into the hospital panicking.

***

The doctor said she was fine, it was just the stress. It's been six hours but she's finally awake.

I stood outside her room, I never left. I couldn't. I had to know if she were okay.

"You told her didn't you?" Jasmine asked as I sat on one of the chairs, my head in my hands. I didn't reply, she took that as a yes, "she's not talking to anyone. I don't think I have the courage to tell her that I knew all along."

I heard footsteps and felt her sit beside me, "this is the last time she'll see of me. I've caused her enough pain already."

Jasmine rubbed my shoulder comfortingly, "It gets better. She can't hate you forever," she says. I don't believe a word she says.

She'll never forgive me.

I broke her.

___________________

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