I Thought I Had Lost You

Memories

I looked outside the window. The scenery could never be compared to what I saw every time I gazed outisde when I was in Narnia. Narnia was the most beautiful place to exist. 

It has been one month after the voyage with the Dawn Treader. I wanted to go back but I knew I couldn't. And that's what hurt me the most. 

The fact that I couldn't look at the miracles Narnia held again.

I couldn't look at the peaceful trees with their leaves coming to life when air stroke them. I couldn't look upon the magnificent sea with its clear waters, hear the wonderful song of the birds as they flew. I couldn't look at Cair Paravel again, my home for so many years. I couldn't see Aslan, the Great Lion, his tawny gold mane and body as he spoke every time he opened his mouth, incredibly wise. 

And I couldn't see or talk to him.

The King that was in love with my sister.

The King that made me blush and turn my head so he couldn't see me.

The King that I left behind and the king I adored. I was just a dear friend to him. A Queen that ruled before he was even born. But to me, he was something more. 

I hadn't realised it before we arrived for the last time in Narnia. Not quite. 

He had always been handsome, very handsome. I remember the first time he looked towards us when we first met him. He glanced at me and stared at my sister. Well, I was just 13. I guess that was logical. I don't blame him. I don't blame him at all. For the record, Susan was indeed very pretty. A Queen like me, she was Susan the Gentle. With red lips and dark hair. No surprise that every man in America wants to marry her. And that felt wrong. Caspian was in love with her and all she did was kiss him once and then mumble something about being thousands of years older than him. And then she left and just... forgot about him.

How could she do that?

I could never forget Caspian and I wasn't the one that he kissed...

After I saw his young face, I was intrigued by him. Perhaps I wanted to know more of him and make him my friend? Probably. When I stepped into that tree I glanced at Caspian too, for I wanted to come back when he was still alive. And not thousands of years later. 

And my wish had come true. I surfaced and I saw his wet face looking at me. I had glanced at him and moved my gaze and then I looked at him again almost not believing he was actually there.  I had said "Caspian!" In surprise and it made me happier than it should have. He simply replied "Lucy." teasingly and I think I had almost felt butterflies in my stomach. Had it not been the fact that I was stunned when I saw him, I think my face would turn red out of nowhere, making us experience an awkward situation. Then he held me as we went aboard the Dawn Treader and then I surely felt butterflies. 

Even now, I smiled as I pictured him, laughing at jokes that I made, at jokes that Edmund made. But that made me even sadder, as I remembered that I would never hear that amusing sound again.

That I had lost him.

~~After 2 years~~

I'm 17. Oh yes! I grew up too, thank you for noticing.

I woke up early today, since it was my birthday. I did a happy dance as I call it to be and dressed.

I hadn't cut my hair much. It was very long and curly as always. I was taller than used to be though. I know Susan is a lot more good-looking than I am but at least now I am cute.

Cute... just cute. I sighed as I made myself stop thinking about that anymore. I shouldn't be considering things like those today. It was my birthday after all! I was enthusiastic about the day like any other girl would be.

I was going to look away from the mirror with a happy mood, when it glittered.

And when I say glittered I mean it.