I Thought I Had Lost You

Downs

I went to the library, books calm me. But with these nerves, nothing could calm me but time. How will I face Susan at dinner? No way. Nor tomorrow at breakfast.

"Fiona I won't be at dinner. You and Miley can leave." Fiona looked startled.

"Why, your Highness?"

"I'm not feeling well." True.

"All right." And they left me alone in the big bedroom. 

I threw a pillow out of anger, to no one in particular. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. This is messed up.

This is so messed up.

Susan cheats on Caspian. I fought with her because of him. Because I'm in love with him and I can't let her do that to him. I'm angry at Susan. I'm angry at Caspian. I know how to put my feelings aside. I'm mad at him. Why didn't he tell me about my own ball?! Was I really that uneccesary to him? I bet he called the ball also mine because it would be rude if he did it only for her and not me. He is too kind. 

Which makes me even madder!

I groaned. I rested my head to the pillow, inhaled deeply and shut my eyes. Wishing it was just a nightmare.

I woke up and it was raining. Thank Aslan. I love the rain. It's my favorite weather. Others don't like rain because they don't want to get wet. So what if you get wet? You can dry yourself up in at least half an hour. No big of a deal.

My head snapped to the rest of the room. Fiona and Miley aren't in it. I wonder why, maybe it's too early. I look at the clock across my bed and see that it is indeed too early. 

07:33

Breakfast is served at 8:45 and I woke up an hour earlier approximately. I quickly get off the bed and choose a dress to wear. I pick the purple out, I don't care it's made for sun and walks in the garden. I put it on put some flat shoes. I brush my hair slightly.

I open the door and the two guards across my room widen their eyes. I make a 'shh' with my finger on my mouth while I try to be as soundless as I can. I skip to the stairs and see no one else but servants are wandering around the halls. I tiptoe to the front door and exit the castle. Phew!

Forests and valleys and meadows are around the castle surrounding it. I step aa little further and hard rain washes me whole. I grin and run to the woods.

The rain doesn't stop hitting me but in the forest, the trees cut its fierce need to fall a bit. My hands touch the trees and their leaves as my feet are against the mud. My dress isn't too long to be covered in dirt, thank Aslan because if I returned with it covered in mud, Fiona and Miley might have a heart attack.

I forget my problems, my worries. It's just me and the natural landscape. I move further and further into the woods without knowing how long I've been here. 

I start singing a song I heard somewhere, I don't remember where exaclty, I always intend to forget these kind of stuff. 

I just wandered through the trees as I sang it. Nothing mattered but the lyrics.

"The day I first met you, you told me you never fall in love. But now that I get you, I know fear is what it really was. Now here we are," I sang with my hads up in the air. "So close, yet so far." I looked back and saw the castle wasn't even in sight. "When will you realise, I'm not like the rest." I moved further into the woods. "Don't want to break your heart, wanna give your heart a break. I know you're scared it's wrong like you might make a mistake. There's just only one life to live. There's no time to waste." I moved along with the rhythum. "So let me give your heart a break. A break. Just one little break." Now I was dancing too. "On the last day, the Sunday, you went home, alone, and there tears in your eyes. I knocked on your door, oh my love, you didn't reply." I was swirling. "The world would be ours if you wanted. We would take it just like you take my hand. But there's no turning back now..." I felt frustrated for no reason. "Just try to understand! I don't want to break your heart, I just wanna give it a break. And I know well that you're scared it's maybe wrong, maybe a mistake. There's just only one life to live and no time to waste. So let me give your heart a break. A break, there so much more you can take."