Tales of Avanturia 1

Chapter 30: Depressing Guilt

Fenrock was awoken by a sharp scream in the middle of the night – it came from Lucia's room!

He quickly ran to her, in his hands his sword. Lucia was lying on her floor holding her rapier as she was threatened by a person in a black and red shroud wielding a dagger.

Well, apparently not.

The situation was rather quickly defused when Fenrock spotted the gleaming blade of Lucia's rapier piercing the assassin. The dagger dropped to the floor and the attacker followed shortly afterwards.

„I can feel Noctur's embrace..! Long live the Dark Ministry...!" the attacker drew his last breaths, before he died.

By the way, Noctur is the god of death.

„The Dark Ministry..." Fenrock hissed silently, he then turned to his friend, „Hey, are you ok?"

„I.. killed him.." she whispered to herself, her expression that of shock. She started shaking.

„Hey, Lucia, what's wrong?!" Fenrock asked, „Did he hurt you?!"

„I killed him.." she entirely ignored him and just looked at the blood on her sword, which she quickly dropped on the floor, „I killed someone..."

„Don't beat yourself up about it, you've killed plenty of monsters before, so why is it a difference now?" Fenrock asked.

„It was a human being.." she looked at him with tears in her eyes, „I've never killed a human!"

„It's alright, stay calm," Fenrock sat down on her bed and wrapped his arms around her, „Don't think about it, you did it for self defense. He was out to kill you first, don't forget that."

„But I never killed a man before... this.. this feels terrible..! I feel like a monster.." she sobbed.

„You're not. You're not a monster, Lucia, don't tell yourself that." Fenrock said calmly, „You had to do it, otherwise, he would've killed you. And while it's not a good feeling, seeing you bleeding, or hurt, would've felt even worse for me."

„How.. do you get over it...?" she asked almost inaudible. She stopped shaking, but was still sobbing.

„Sometimes it's better not to think too much. Then at one point, you're numb enough to not let it get to you." Fenrock explained, „I can understand you're reaction, of course you're shocked, but don't let it get to you. I've seen people breaking under the pressure, throwing themselves into complete darkness. Don't do that, you're better than this. Just.. just stay calm."

Just then they received a call on their telenomichron – it came from Bella and Brynjolf, „Fenrock, I hope, we're not disturbing anything, but do you remember that night, when we first me? Yeah, I think that encounter between us and those three guys caused a bit of a problem."

In the middle of the night, the four then met on the top of the cathedral in the northeast of the city. They chose a neutral place, so the chance of getting ambushed would be smaller. Lucia was still not very with herself, sunken deeply in her own thoughts, while the others discussed what in the seven hells was going on.

„Ok, guys, what's even going on here?!" Bella asked confused.

„Fenny, care to explain?" Brynjolf asked.

„Those guys, that attacked us, those were members of the Dark Ministry, you've probably heard of them. In short, they are an organisation, which specialized on the art of assassination. They are the biggest of the three underground groups of Ravigrad and are active in the whole country. If they are out to kill us, then we've seriously messed with someone."

„The Ministry?" Bella repeated, „I doubt, that we've at any point rubbed someone the wrong way.. We never messed with any criminal organisations or such to this point."

„Only Bryn and me, but that was not in any way relatable to the Blood Roses and it was before we've even really met." Fenrock added.

„Well, maybe some old debts to repay?" Bella suggested.

„Maybe," Brynjolf agreed, „At least on my terms, but in this case, not only the Ministry would be after me."

„And I doubt, that they'd have anything they'd want me repayed.." Fenrock mumbled, „To clarify things, I was once a member of them for a short time, so I know how things work over there. You see, they have this ritual, that the quest giver has to do, after that one of the assassins will come to them and they agree on a reward and the target – and the way of assassination. And they aren't explicitely evil, they just don't differ between good and evil for that matter, they just receive the contracts and execute them."

„So, they have, like, no morals?" Bella wondered.

„Hardly. I recall a lot of times when I, or fellow assassins really questioned their jobs, but, it's gotta be done, if you want to receive your payment. As strange as it may sound, they were, at times, like a family to me. Everyone always had each other's back, you could talk to anyone about anything. You know, behind their shrouds, they are normal people, people, you'd see here walking around in the streets, living a normal life."

„It's just all the more of a problem that they seem to be out to kill us." Brynjolf said, „And all the more weird aswell."

„I just don't see a reason other than someone would want to have us killed. I doubt Harkon would send someone to kill me.." Fenrock mumbled.

„Harkon?"

„Their leader."

„Hey, Lucia, what do you-" Brynjolf was interrupted in his question by Fenrock who silently shook his head, signalising to just leave her for the moment.

They all returned back to their homes and went back to sleep, with Fenrock staying alerted all the time. He was also thinking about a way to assure Lucia that it's okay to kill, if you do it in self defense and the defense of others. Of course, there's always a better way, but sometimes, you just have to tell yourself there isn't.

On the next day the four Blood Roses stayed on guard all the time. They didn't encounter any attacks in the more crowded districts, but in emptier ones, such as the red-light district, Brynjolf and Bella were attacked by two assassins. Well, it proved to be no problem, and they soon got rid of them.

In Lucia's head, however, hidden from everyone else, she was fighting her very own battle. Voices screaming at her, accusing her, calling her guilty and the constant picture of her stabbing the assassin and the look of fear in his eyes.. It slowly drove her crazy.

„Hey, Lucia, Lucia!" She was snapped out of her thoughts by Fenrock, who looked at her full of concern, „What's wrong?"

„Like you don't know!" she shouted, „I killed someone and it's driving me insane!"

The people in the crowd stopped to look what was going on and the two were soon surrounded by them.

„Lucia, calm down." Fenrock tried to reason, „I know, this is difficult for you, but you can't ju-"

„Difficult?! What do you know about it? You don't bat an eye when you kill someone! You don't know, why it is so difficult for me, so stop lecturing me all the time!" she shouted, „I don't want to hear any of your stupid philosophical phrases anymore, I'm sick of you telling me what's good for me! I didn't break out of my controlled life to be controlled all over again!"

„I'm not trying to control you, Lucia, where did you even get that idea?" Fenrock asked rather shocked, „I'm just trying to help you, but you have to talk to me about it."

„But what if I don't want to?! Why can't you just leave me alone!" She then stormed off, while everyone looked after her. The first ones already started to talk about them. Something that clearly pissed Fenrock the fuck off.

„Done staring already?!" he shouted, „Can't you see, she's going through a tough phase? Just leave her, for fuck's sake!"

Fenrock decided that it's better to leave her for the time being, he was confident, that Lucia could defend herself, of course he was still worried..

But not about attackers.