million dollar high | joshler

50

a week passed.

i tried to move on, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. josh's words were stuck on me: don't fuck around with anyone else.

it didn't even apply anymore.

josh texted me and said he wanted to talk. i told him to meet me at a little corner cafe i liked. it was just down the street.

i showered and got dressed in skinny jeans and a light blue sweater then left to the cafe.

josh was already there. he had the same jeans on and a red long sleeved shirt.

"hey." he said.

i sat across from him. "hi."

"how've you been?"

"okay. you?"

"okay."

"so you wanted to talk?"

"um, yeah." he tapped the back of his hand. i folded mine on the table subconsciously. "i was really rude to you, and i blamed you for our breakup and when word got out about me being gay. none of it was on you."

"josh, it was my fault we broke up. i didn't want to admit that i like you. i could barely admit it to myself, and then i blurted that i loved you, and i freaked out and said something stupid, and it was all on me."

"it wasn't only on you. i freaked out too."

i gave him a small nod and avoided his gaze. "have you been with anyone else since we broke up?"

"no. have you?"

"no."

we sat in silence until he placed his hand on mine and held it. "do," he took a breath. "do you love me?"

i stared up at his chocolate eyes, and i really reflected on it before answering him. this was the man i hated down to his cells. this was the man that i became fuck buddies with. this was the man that cheated on his girlfriend with me. this was the man that i gradually started to like, the man that actually broke my heart.

i bit my lip. "i do."

"it wasn't that hard to say now was it?" he said with a small smile.

i laughed a little until i faded off. "josh, you really messed me up. i cried over you. you mean a lot to me, and i care about you."

"i cried too." he scratched the back of his neck. "i missed you."

"do you want to date again? and move back in?" i lead off.

"depends. you gonna yell about how you don't care about me when you obviously do?"

"of course not."

"yes."

"i wish i could kiss you right now."

"go ahead." he closed his eyes and smiled as he leaned into the table a little.

"we're in public."

"it's okay. word's already going around."

i hesitated then leaned a little over the table and kissed him, cupping both of his cheeks, moving both of our lips in sync with the other.