Hellions of Arcadia

Chapter 30 Chit-Chat

It's been over thirty minutes.

Nathan said he would meet me here at 6:00. And yet, he's a no-show at 6:30. I tap my foot impatiently on the concrete sidewalk, fingers shaking off the heavy feeling of time flow.

Blood. The feeling of blood flow.

Ten more minutes, that's it. If Nathan isn't here in ten minutes I'm calling it quits, and going back home to Chloe. Who has no idea that I'm here right now. I mean, I would have told her, but I know that her opinions of Nathan haven't changed since we were kids, and I didn't want to upset her.

The best decision would probably to not meet up with Nathan in the first place, as to not upset Chloe and whatnot, but I need to talk to him right now. It's hard to explain, even to myself. Nathan and I have a weird connection because of everything that went down all those years ago. Yet, I've barely gotten to speak with him ever since he surfaced here with us. He's spent the majority of his time nestled up in Warren's apartment. Which is surprising, because I would have thought that those two would be at each other's throats by now. Guess they managed to get past their differences.

The cold October air bites at my nose, and I hide it in the collar of my jacket to protect it. The temperature has been getting colder faster here, which 3 years ago would probably frighten me, but by now I know that if something bad was going to happen; I'd know.

I bring my hands close, and breathe into them. My breath smells bad, but it warms my frozen nose, so I'll take it.

"Max, hey!" Nathan says, rubbing his hands together and walking towards me.

"It's about time." I respond, happy to see him finally here. "You took your time. I totally thought that you forgot about me."

"Forget? Never." Nathan jokes, joining me under the street lamp that has yet to turn on.

We both stand in an awkward silence, trying to find the right thing to say. Hell, why did I even invite him out? I thought it was a good idea in the beginning, but now that we are actually here I have nothing to say to him. I want to reconcile with him, and maybe get to talk to him now that we are older; because he seems like a better guy.

I sigh aloud, my whole body moving with it. Nathan glances down at me, his shoulders are at the height of my head.

"Sorry I was late." Nathan apologizes, probably thinking that his tardiness was the reason for my damp mood.

I shake my head. "Don't worry about it. It's just..." but I don't know what to say next. What can I say? 'Sorry I destroyed your town'? 'Sorry I sacrificed your home, and everyone you knew'? It sounds pathetic in my head. Every attempt for me to apologize for my past behaviour sounds pathetic to me. Should I even be apologizing.

The look that Nathan is giving me- head tilted eagerly to the side, awaiting my next words. It reminds me of Warren.

"It's just been so hard." I finally say. It's not exactly what's on my mind (because I don't know what's on my mind) but it will work for now.

Nathan looks away, looking at the apartment building across the street as if it's helping his train of thought. "I know, Max. It's been tough on all of us, but I can't imagine what it's been like for you especially." Then he shakes his head, his focus being ripped away when someone walks past us. "We look ridiculous just standing here in the street. Let's go for a walk, eh?"

I nod, my arms freezing off as we speak. Nathan stops leaning on the lamp post, dusting off his black jacket.

The biting wind just gets worse as Nathan and I leave the neighbourhood, with the shelter of the buildings no longer being there for us. I really wish I had brought more than just a hoodie for this walk.

Nathan looks down at me, noticing my shivering. "You're cold." He states, "do you want my jacket?"

I shake my head. "No. Then you'd be cold."

"Phew." Nathan sighs, "I was hoping you'd say that. Even I'm chilly."

I can't help but laugh, but it's not really a laugh. Just an uneven forceful breath that's supposed to be a laugh. It's then followed by a sigh. Nathan's shoulder bumps with mine.

"You're so different." I say, without really meaning to. Nathan chuckles, a burst of steam comes from his lips. "I mean it Nathan, it's like you became a whole new person. When did this all happen?"

Nathan stuff his hands in his pockets. "It took a while. Longer than I'd like to admit." He says, running his tongue along his lips in thought. "But there was one night, I was standing on the tornado-torn beaches of ruined Arcadia when it just... came to me."

"Like an epiphany." I say, looking at Nathan'a conflicted facial expression.

He nods in agreement. "An epiphany."

We are silent for just a few beats longer, before Nathan cuts through it. "I just realized who I was, and the things I'd done." His hand glides along the scar on his cheek. A mechanical movement. "How lucky I was to escape the consequences of my own actions."

My eyes sting, and I feel as if I might actually cry. Those words, heavy with pain, and regret; are the words I've been saying to myself for years. This is the first ever thing I've shared in common with a Prescott, with Nathan himself, even. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be walking down a road that wasn't from home, beside the kid I hated and resented. The kid I tried so hard to blame everything on, but Instead I find myself feeling sorry for him. I find myself understanding what he is going through, and wanting to help. I guess people really can change, can't they?

Time to put this epiphany to good use.

"Nathan, don't put this on yourself." I say, taking a deep breath as we round the corner into downtown. "It wasn't a singular person's fault, back in Arcadia. You are putting the blame on yourself, I'm putting the blame on myself, Chloe is blaming herself too."

Nathan nods while looking forward, suddenly too upset to focus on the conversation. I talk anyway. "I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to say that we've all changed, we aren't the people we used to be. You shouldn't blame yourself for how you acted when you were younger, you were a different person then. Not the person you are now."

Nathan lets a little breathy chuckle out, and bumps my shoulder with his own. "As thoughtful and insightful as you've always been, Max."

I shrug playfully. "What can I say? It's part of my charm."

Nathan smiles in a way I've never seen him before in my life, and for the first time in a long time, I feel the true strength of my friendships, despite how cheesy it is.