All I see are people, who seem content with where they are,
mediocre job they don't enjoy,
nagging spouse they tolerate
Ungrateful children they love
Stuck in a position in life they cannot change
So they adapt and make the best of it
Or maybe that's just how I see it.
I project my dislike of everything on everyone else and I convince myself they hate their jobs
and their homes aren't homes but roof and walls they hide in from the cold nights
and their spouses are with them out of obligation and not love
and they aren't loved by anyone and they don't love anyone.
But that's not true.
They are content with what they have and grateful and I try to be thankful for what I have but what do I have?
What do I really have? I ponder
The reflection of the mirror revolts me
The presence of others suffocate me
The lack of love in my life drains me
The bleakness of the future scares me
The past mistakes and memories haunt me
The present drives me insane
I search for meaning
I search for purpose
I search for a reason to live
Yet come up empty handed
Honestly, I'm just a girl with no ambitions,
no life goals,
no confidence
and more self loathe
And suicidal notes as bedmates
For suicide is the only way out of this absurd life
I will wash down these pills with coffee while my family dines and chats in the living room
Or I'll slit my wrist when taking my usual 3am showers and everyone else is sound asleep
Or just jump of the cliff near the campus that looks down on the rocky pathway,
But either way, I shall soon terminate my meaningless life
YOU ARE READING
The Path to Death
PoetryThese are free verse poems that I have written when I was at my lowest point, trying to figure out what I want more, to love or to die. I am battling depression and maybe I will get better, maybe not. But writing down what I'm feeling lessens my b...
