She resides within me
And has taken possession of my mind
Flooding my thoughts with a turbulent sea
Of insecurities, anxiety and despair combined
She sips tea made of my tears
And feeds on the remnants of my being
Turned my life into a cesspool
Driving others to desert me
Filthy soul and foul heart
Why should they not?
Or is that her saying that?
I don't know anymore
Self destructive whispers resonate within me
Sweetening death like a syrup on pancakes
Until I'm craving death like I crave pancakes
"You will no longer have to endure the emptiness of life Maya. "
She whispers
"That worthlessness. Everyone else considers you worthless Maya"
She whispers
"You are repulsive and unwanted and unattractive and a failure Maya. "
"Failures have no place in this world.
Failures have no say in life.
Failures are doomed to gloom
Failures watch their loved ones unlove them and walk away towards the sun and the green hills as they are left alone on the dark pits.
Failures die and decay on the couch while the documentary on flowers continue playing on the tv and the spiders lay webs on the corners of the ceiling and flies fly freely and nobody ever notices their absence. You are a failure Maya. "
The words should slice me like a butter knife
Pierce through me and bleed me painfully
But I'm rather convinced of my ineptness
My mind hobbles from the pills in the cabinet
To the piece of rationality still lingering in me
The path to death is veiled
But these pills shall soon unveil it
YOU ARE READING
The Path to Death
PoetryThese are free verse poems that I have written when I was at my lowest point, trying to figure out what I want more, to love or to die. I am battling depression and maybe I will get better, maybe not. But writing down what I'm feeling lessens my b...
