SOKOVIA ✦ marvel oneshots

bucky

( agate! )

....

They were screaming at him again. Gaunt, pale faces, their mouths twisted open and their eyes sunken with agony. Bucky couldn't help them. He had killed them.

He tried to ignore them, turn away and focus on the mission. But their screams only grew louder and louder before seeping into harrowed sobs. They hated him. They feared him. They pitied him.

Another would be joining them soon. Bucky knew he had to act fast, make it painless and quick. Maybe then they would leave him alone, once it was over, once they had company in their unmarked graves.

He stalked forward into the thick fog, a predator unseen to his prey. She didn't hear nor see him until the gunshot rang out.

Just a few seconds, less than that even, was all was needed for the fear and shock to mingle with the pain before her heart stopped. Just like them now, she would always wear torment on her face.

Silence.

They crowded around her quietly, their pale figures mixing with the fog. They wept for her.

Bucky could do nothing else. He sat down, cold and broken, and watched.

Then, he woke up.

A nightmare, one of many, that happened every night. He remembered her name. He remembered why he killed her. HYDRA never liked loose ends.

He remember them, too. The damned. The ones he robbed from life. The ones who would always haunt him.

When Bucky entered the lounge, he expected it to be empty. Of course, you were there, bundled up and reading something on your phone.

He hesitated. Should he disturb you? You didn't deserve to be involved in the weight he carried. That was his burden to bear, alone.

It was too late to back away, however. You had already spotted him, a warm smile on your face as a greeting.

Bucky gave you a nod, and shuffled into the room. He sat down on the couch beside you. The room felt too small, like it was closing in and crushing his lungs.

You placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he let out a breath. The look on your face said things would be okay.

"Do you think we're bad people?" Bucky asked you. His eyes were skittish, and small beads of sweat trailed down his cheeks. "All the people we hurt---killed. Are we really helping anyone?"

You placed your phone down, crossed your legs and faced him. "You're a good person, Bucky. Your past? You're not responsible for any of it. HYDRA robbed you of your free will: you were a prisoner in your own body."

"But I am responsible, Y/N. They died by my hands. I was aware of everything." Bucky closed his eyes. He could see them. "I want to help them, but I can't."

"You can help them. Live for them. Save more lives for them. You were a puppet, don't let the hand that pulled the strings win," you comforted him softly. "Work on hunting down every last person responsible for breathing life into HYDRA. For them."

They seemed to like your words. They were angry. They wanted revenge.

Bucky opened his eyes, a new determination in them. "You're right. We need peace, and I'll get it for us."

You nodded firmly. There wasn't all much you could do now, but just be there for him, and distract him from the unpleasant thoughts. So you asked, "Want to watch some TV with me? I'll make us some snacks."

***

Steve found you and Bucky the next morning snoring softly on the couch, with an upturned bowl of popcorn by Bucky's foot and a few wrappers of chips and chocolate around your form.

Quietly he switched off the TV and draped a blanket over his best friends. He smiled, assured that Bucky would always be okay with you by his side.