Burning Desire (Camren) (GxG)

Chapter 3

Weeks went by very fast and I slowly but surely habituated to college. I never used to be one of the motivated, focused students but thanks to Jennel I still managed to get to study so I wouldn't mess the exams up at the end of the semester. Some classes were really interesting like clinical psychology. Like I listened really closely to what the prof said about Depression, Schizophrenia and other disorders and it totally changed the way I looked at these types of diseases. On the other hand there were classes that were worse that detention I knew from school, like statistics. I just couldn't sit there for more than 5 minutes without losing the thread. I know it sounds like all my life was about college and studying, but guess what I was actually thinking about when I pretended to be studying or who I stared at when I couldn't concentrate on statistics anymore. You got it: green-eyed beauty. The innocent curiosity I had felt when I first saw her had turned into a real obsession. It had been growing over the first few weeks without me really noticing, but all of a sudden I realized what had happened to me. I was totally out of my mind. At the beginning I just looked at her every now and then during classes when I was bored, but as the weeks progressed I started to glance at her every 10 minutes, then in an internal of 8 minutes, 5, 3... and suddenly I caught a short glimpse every 10 minutes at the prof just to turn my head immediately back to my object of desire and gaze at her steady. Whenever I entered the classroom, the first thing I did was to look around to see if she was already there and if she wasn't, I waited patiently until she arrived just to feel my cheeks flush, but that didn't bother me anymore since it was the "normal" reaction of my body to her appearance. The only bad thing was that Jennel glanced at me raising an eyebrow every time I went red in the face for apparently no reason. She then asked me about the cause for my visible excitement, but I always denied being nervous or tensed even though I obviously was and I knew she knew something was going on, but thank god she couldn't force me to tell her what was going on, yet she tried. Many times she caught me staring, but there were so many students she just couldn't figure out which one I was specifically looking at. It didn't feel right for me to lie to my best friend every day, but what was I supposed to say? It felt just weird even imagining me telling her I was sort of obsessed with someone, so I didn't. It was easier to hide my confusing desires than to try to explain the unreasonably obsession I felt. Well, not totally unreasonably, she still was overwhelming with her perfect falling brown long hair, her smooth skin, those soft lips and that killer look.
I had no excuse or explanation for my feelings, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have grown that much if it wasn't for that one time I occasionally looked at her during Cognitive Psychology and caught her gazing back at me. Her green eyes looked straight into my brown ones making me shiver. But I didn't look away like I usually would have. And neither did she. I felt sort of an electrifying tension between me and her and even though she made me feel goose bumps all over my body, I kept my eyes on hers. It wasn't one of those eye contacts you make randomly with someone, ours was so much more. It was like she could see straight into my soul and for some reason I had a feeling that the tension was mutual. I thought so because I knew her a little since I had observed her for a while then and I had never seen her looking at someone like she looked at me that day. Her gaze was sober but there was an expression of curiousness in her face. I thought about smiling shyly at her, but even if I would have wanted to, my muscles were numb. The moment seemed endless, the eye contact tense and just when I thought I couldn't take it any longer the bell rang and we disconnected. I put my stuff in my bag and I must have seemed very absent because Jennel grabbed my arm and guided me out of the room but before we left I dared to look back one more time, just to meet those green orbs one last time which met mine immediately. That was the moment when I felt, when I knew that something odd, but still very special was in the air. And I wasn't the only one feeling it, that I knew for sure.