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"why didnt i understand this before?"

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my mom didnt leave me alone for days as to why i was "sad."

but i couldnt just say "oh my best friend committed suicide im perfectly fine."

but im not fine at all.

pulling my phone out, i text ashton asking if i could come to his, in which he immediately responded with "come on over mate"

"mom im going to ashtons."

no reply.

instead i just leave a note that i left to ashtons.

driving there, it all came back to me that i havent seen any of my band mates since savs break up.

knocking on ashtons door, he opens it and lets me in.

we sit on his bed, and i immediately break down.

"shes gone ash. shes gone."

~~~

okay this was really short. but im already writing the last real chapter. and im gonna try and make that long, but the epilogue will be somewhat short either way.

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