Ambrosine
Friday
It was a little past 3pm. Saint and I just dropped the girls off with his parents as we made our way to see my biological grandmother who my mother ensured wasn't young after googling her name to find her. Everyone I found was young. Apryl wouldn't come no matter how much I begged. She told me that her mother hated her but would be filled with excitement to see me. Apparently growing up we had a good bond. I sadly do not remember her.
" I'm scared. You think she will recognize me?"
" I don't know baby but it's no reason to be afraid I'm right here with you." He spoke as he drove.
" Actually, I was wondering if you could let me knock on the door alone but just be nearby in the car for safety reasons?"
" No I can not. I'm not taking no chances with anyone, not even someone who share your blood because if Apryl got the crazy shit from ya g moms then I know she gotta be a little off and you carrying my kid. I have all right to go with you."
" I just wanted a moment alone but okay." I sighed.
" You invited me now you just want me to play uber?"
" I- It's not that I don't want you there I truly do but I just don't know how she is or if she's religious and that's why she ghosted my mom."
" What are you really trynna say?" His voiced raised a bit and he began to frown flaring his nose.
" Nothing." I didn't want to stress the baby out at all.
" Nah you feel some kind of way about me let me know now because I don't wanna ruin your little happy family moment."
" Wrong with you? I really love that you came, there's nothing wrong at all. It's just the tattoos on your face and all over your body can rub people the wrong way. I love the tattoos—I really do but everyone isn't me. I just want to ease in with them." I admitted.
" Tattoos? Say what you really feel. You just scared your grandmother might know who I am because of the streets. She ain't no church woman if she raised Apryl believe that."
" Why are you trying so hard to argue with me? It's not about you at all to be honest but since you feel a way YES I don't want you involved in my moment. That doesn't mean I love you less."
" Love? What this gotta do with love if you acting like you ashamed of me? I was never gonna go in actually but now seeing that you didn't want me to from the beginning got me questioning a lot of shit right now." He sighed.
I began to feel bad. I want to be accepted by my relatives so bad that I was willing to hide the person who gave me my first real family from them until I was comfortable. I meant no harm in it all. I just wasn't ready to share him let alone my children with them. I purposely wore biker shorts and an oversized black tee to hide my stomach. For all I know, she can be bad energy. Nothing my child or I want.
" What you wanna eat after this little meet and greet?" He broke the awkward silence.
I wasn't trying to talk because I'm annoyed so I didn't answer.
" So now you not talking to me? What you gonna break up with me next since I have tattoos?" He spat in defense to my silence. I locked my glossy eyes with his and his mug softened .
" Ambrosine don't start with that crying shit." He shook his head and reached for my stomach to rub while his other hand was on the wheel. We reached a stop and I got nervous as he parked. I wouldn't let anything ruin my moment. It was no time for tears.
" We here. Tighten up." He sighed. I stayed silent.
" Go meet your grandma so we can go get something to eat after" He kissed my cheek rubbing on my belly.
