Shawn Mendes Imagines

In My Blood *

Crying wasn't something foreign to you, in fact it was possibly your best friend at the moment.

Ever since Shawn started working on his third album, he's been distant, he's been quiet, you always had to find out things from his fan accounts, which really hurt. What happened between you two?

You were under the covers, tears streaming down your face thinking about where it all went wrong, and what went wrong.

What you didn't expect was Shawn being home so soon.

"Babe? I'm home!" He called and you quickly wiped away your tears and looked at the clock.

10:30PM

He was usually back by midnight, you were beyond surprised, and walked into the bathroom with your phone in hand and locked the door behind you.

You washed your face and took a deep breath, you hoped he wouldn't notice you were crying.

You turned your phone on and scrolled down instagram to see what Shawn was up to, since he was too distant to tell you.

Scrolling down, your stomach dropped and you felt a pang of hurt when you saw what his fans knew before you, something you should've known before the whole world.

"In My Blood" March 22, midnight.

There was an hour and a half left until the drop, and hell you didn't even know if that was the album or a song, he wouldn't tell you. Fresh tears started to fall from your eyes when you realized how bad things have gotten. Doesn't he trust you anymore? Probably not.

You walked out of the bathroom not even bothering to wipe away your tears and walked to him, he turned around, eyes going wide when he saw the pain and hurt in your eyes.

"Babe, what happened?" He asked touching your arms

"You didn't even tell me," You said, your voice above a whisper

"Tell you what?" He asked, genuinely confused, you showed him his latest instagram post and you could see a flash of guilt in his eyes.

"Y/N I can explain-"

"No, Shawn. You can't. You've been doing this for 4 months, hell even more than that! Shawn I'm tired of you being distant and you make me question myself and your loyalty towards me when you don't even tell me where you're going, or about your day! Shawn you keep trying to please everyone, that you forgot me in the process and shut me out. You can't keep doing this to me, Shawn. I'm tired! I'm tired of crying every night wondering where everything went wrong! Shawn I'm tired of trying to fix things when all you do is push away! You won't even talk to me anymore! I have to take everything about your day and what yoy've from your damn fans! Shawn what the hell did I do to you to make you torture me so much?!" You cried, and his eyes started filling with tears

"I didn't know you felt that way-"

"You obviously didn't, you've been busy." You said quoting the words he always said when he comes back late.

"Y/N baby I'm so sorry-"

"Maybe we should take a break, Shawn." You said wrapping your arms around yourself and his jaw dropped

"No, Y/N. That isn't necessary. I can fix this! Y/N I'm really sorry I haven't been the best boyfriend-"

"Shawn, we need this. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I gave you 4 months to fix this, but you kept getting worse, and worse, and worse." You said hitting his chest sobbing

"Y/N please, I'm so so sorry, I'll put off the album release date, I'll let you listen to it, I'll even give you it's name- I'll do anything Y/N." He cried

"Just answer me one question." You sniffled

"Anything," He said grabbing your hands

"Were you ever gonna let me listen to the album before the world, even if it was just a song?" You asked and he looked away guiltily

"See, Shawn. I feel like I'm a charity case. That you only give me attention if I'm upset. Shawn I'm your fucking girlfriend! I shouldn't have to ask for attention, you're supposed to give it without even thinking! I just want a few minutes out of your day, Shawn. That's all I ask! Even if it was you sending me a stupid gif or a snap saying I miss you or I love you! A sentence I haven't fucking heard since you started that stupid album!" You said pushing away from him to go pack

"Y/N I understand you're upset but is that really a reason to leave?" He asked

"It's a break, Shawn. It won't be an official break up, yet." You whispered the last part hoping he didn't hear it, but he did.

"You don't mean that." He said, but you stayed silent and zipped up your bag and walked to the door

"Y/N I'm begging you-"

"Goodbye, Shawn." You said trying to hold back your tears, and walked out of the house.

Shawn's P.O.V

I stared at the door for a solid 20 minutes hoping she would walk back in, even if it was because she forgot something, but nothing walked through the door.

I checked the time, and it was less than 30 minutes until the release of "In My Blood" and honestly, I could care less about the release, today I was about to show everyone in the world my most vulnerable self, with my girlfriend by my side. Showing her that she's the one that helps me keep going, she's the one that put me back in my place and showed me that giving up, wasn't in my blood.

I felt myself slowly falling back into my black hole, I felt the walls caving in on me again, I felt alone, and I had no one to blame but myself. I sat on the bathroom floor, where I was the first time I felt like I've had enough and wanted to give up, but didn't because of her.

11:58PM

I sniffled, wiping away my tears before grabbing my phone and writing a tweet and waited until midnight to tweet out.

What if she blocked me? What if she doesn't see it? I pushed all my negative thoughts because it was time.

12:00AM

She's In My blood, I love you ❤️