Shawn Mendes Imagines

Maybe Later*

A/N: ED trigger warning :(

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It was the 5th time that week she looked at herself in the mirror, the same look in her eyes.

Disgust, anger, sadness.

Shawn has been back for 2 weeks now, and he hasn't even acknowledged you, he was always out with friends or with his family, and you respected that the people he loved missed him, but you had missed him terribly too. Were all the nights you spent talking to him, trying to help with his anxiety, being so supportive of his PR stunt with Camila, mean nothing? The first week you thought nothing of it, and instead began to scroll through social media during his absence.

Terrible idea.

You began looking at pictures, people comparing you to both Hailey and Camila, how Shawn let go of a gorgeous model like Hailey for you, or broke up with Camila and her talents and downgrade so much.

You started eating less, you started to change for him, but he wasn't even around to notice. Every-time you suggested to spend the evening together, his responses were different, but they all meant the same thing.

"Can't, promised the guys' we'd go out drinking. Maybe later?"

"Promised Aaliyah a night out. Maybe later?"

"Having dinner/ lunch with my family, maybe later."

"Need to have a meeting with Andrew, maybe later."

"Maybe later" never came.

Here you are, 2 weeks later, staring at yourself in the mirror. You lost 13 pounds due to lack of eating and overworking, you kept sending Shawn texts, asking when he'd be back, when he'd be there for you, but he'd always leave you on read, or just not open the text altogether.

You kept seeing him on his Instagram story, he was getting shit-faced with his guys and Camila, you were well aware that the PR stunt was over, and he could've invited you to tag along, even if it was just lunch with his parents, but this was beyond being busy. He was avoiding you.

You waited for him until midnight, you left a final voicemail for him, telling him that you'd leave the door unlocked for him, and went to bed.

You went to bed, but your eyes never stayed shut. Your mind wandered with so many possibilities of why he could be avoiding you. A few hours later, you heard the door open, followed by a loud series of footsteps coming towards your room.

You didn't want to fight or argue, so you sat up, put on your best fake smile, and looked at the man standing in front of you, too drunk to stand still. Once his eyes landed on you, he rolled them and let out a huff making you frown, why was he acting like this?

"Hey, let me help you." You said, getting up

"I can do this shit on my own." He said, obviously annoyed as he took ages to take his shirt off

"Shawn, you're drunk let me help you." You stated, helping him out of his jeans

"Fine." He grumbled, and he let you

You drew him a bath, helped him into new fresh clothes, combed his hair, he even seemed to sober up a bit, but not completely.

"Can you just leave my hair the fuck alone? You're not my mom." He said, grabbing the brush out of your hands aggressively

"I was just trying to help." You mumbled

"Well don't, Jesus."

"Okay, well here's what I wanted to talk to you about, there's this restaurant that opened-"

"My god, do you not stop? Can't you take a hint?" He asked, losing his cool entirely

"Shawn, what is going on with you?"

"You just don't get it do you? I tried being nice about it the first week but now this is just fucking pathetic. Just leave me the hell alone, stop being so annoying! You're suffocating me! I want some time away from you!"

"Shawn, stop." You whimpered

"No, I won't stop! Because I'm fucking tired of you, I'm tired of you needing to be on my arm every single second, needing me to re-assure you that I love you, or make your fucking insecurities disappear, I'm not your life-support! I'm your fucking boyfriend! God, things would be so much easier if I dumped you the night I left for tour!"

That was all it took.

You looked at the man you thought you knew, the man you love, despite every single arrow he shot at you. He was heaving with anger and rage, his feelings clouding his mind enough for him not to see how much he frightened you, the person he loved the most, the person he swore to protect.

"Is that really how you feel?" You asked, stifling a sob, and his eyes soon came to the realization of what he'd done

"Fuck-no Y/N-"

"You really think that of me? Have you forgotten everything I've ever done for you? The nights I stayed up for you when I had a final exam the next morning just to help you with your anxiety, staying up waiting for you to call me because you promised you would after your fucking PR dinner with Camila, but then you end up forgetting or being too tired. The nights I spent texting Connor and Brian to check up on you and make sure you were okay when you weren't answering my texts, the nights I'd send long letters and gifts to re-assure you that the people you loved would always be waiting for you back home, all that meant nothing, right?" You said, wiping away your tears with your sleeve

"Jesus Y/N, no, that's not it at all- I was just drunk-"

"Drunk words are sober thoughts, Shawn, I'm starting to understand what your fans meant." You sniffled

"What do you mean by what my fans meant? Have you been online? Y/N, baby I told you to avoid-" When he reached out to touch you, something in you struck, and you stepped away from him

"DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU DO NOT GET TO PLAY THE CARING BOYFRIEND CARD! NOT RIGHT NOW! Not anymore." You said, whimpering the last part

"Anymore? Baby-"

"My name is Y/N. You seem to have more fun without me in the picture, just look at the genuine smile on your face when you were out today. I tried to change for you, I tried to be Hailey, I tried to be Camila, but even if I keep trying, I'll never be good enough for you, will I? I'll always be annoying, selfish, boring old Y/N, right?" You cried, your words hurting him more than you knew

"Baby, no, please let me explain everything-"

"The time for explaining is up, Shawn. I'm done." You said, taking a deep breath and grabbing your sneakers, phone, and purse.

"Wait, no, Y/N, stop! Please, just stop! I'm sorry, okay?"

"No you're not," You said, sitting by the chair near the door to put on your sneakers properly

"Can we just talk about this?!"

"I think we both know we were going to come to an end, it was the inevitable, which was why you were avoiding me. Could've been less brutal about it."

"Y/N, I'm so, so sorry for everything that I said, and no, drunken words are not sober thoughts, not in this case at least. I'm sorry I ignored you for so long, I always took you for granted, but I won't do that, never again. I now knew how much you meant- mean to me, how much you've done for me, and I can't lose you, please just stay." He was willing to get down on his hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness, but why should you give him the time of day when he never blinked your way?

So, with a heavy heart, you walked away from him, hearing his pleas to talk about it, to meet up with him and let him explain.

"Sorry, I'm busy. Maybe later?"

You both knew that "maybe later" may never come.