Shawn Mendes Imagines

Request *

"What're you doing here?" She asked, her beautiful eyes looking into my hazel ones

"Baby, I fucked up. I fucked up big time, and doing what I did 2 years ago, ruined me, I shouldn't have done that. And I know it's selfish of me to show up at your doorstep at 1 in the morning, but I have a request and a goal. A request I would beg you on my knees for you to accept." I said, no shame or hesitation.

I was determined to make things right.

"I-I don't understand, I thought we were-"

"Perfect? Ok? Well we're not. We need a break." I said, my voice harsh

"Let's talk about this!"

"No, I made up my mind. You can pack your things and go, I'm late for an event I have to be at." I said picking up my jacket

"Shawn!" She called, but her voice was so small that I barely even heard it

"What?" I barked, and I saw a hint of fear in her eyes, but soon replaced with... nothing. A wall blocking out every emotion she has and is going through

"Nothing. Have a fucking amazing life."

And with that, she went to pack, and I left.

I came back home that night, drunk. I was expecting to come home to see her waiting for me on the couch, in my YOUTH hoodie, but I was disappointed to see that the place was a ghost town, I called everywhere, but all I got in return was silence.

Why I wanted to break-up with her? No idea. It was more of an in the heat of the moment thing. I see all these celebrities hooking up with models and I felt like she was tying me down, which was something that I could never forgive myself for.

I tried to wash away those dirty thoughts the next morning, tears mixing with the hot water, but nothing could wash away the filthy feeling I had under my skin, I threw her away for a few hookups that might not even happen in the future.

I threw my future away.

I called, I begged, I sobbed, I cried, but I caused too much damage. I tried to explain, but that only made matters worse. She requested space, and lots of it that night, the night I let her go, and I gave that to her, how could I possibly say no?

I haven't seen anyone since that night, it took me a few months to wrap my mind around the fact that she was gone.

I toured, I had new songs, album releases, festivals here and there, but every time I'd look in the crowd praying I'd see her angelic face somewhere, but I was always disappointed. I never saw her since that night, and every day I go without seeing her, is a stab to the chest, every night I think of her, my heart breaks all over again and I do nothing but sob, but I deserve it. She was both my hell and heaven, and she still is.

"Request?" She asked, fumbling with the sleeves of her shirt, it's been 2 years and she's still as beautiful as ever.

"I miss you, I miss us-"

"Shawn-"

"No let me finish." I said making her nod

"I miss you, I miss the way you felt about me, I miss your love, your touch, your voice. I need you back so much it hurts. You kept me moving, south, east, west, north, forward, backwards, you kept me going. I gave you what you requested of me that night, and I'm still waiting for you, but I just couldn't help myself. I had to see you. Y/N being away from you was like a curse, and I deserved every minute of it. I felt like a part of me was missing, I felt like I was ill, but seeing you now? And being close to you? It's my remedy. I can't see a life without you, you are my future, Y/N. There is no path that doesn't lead to you. There is no escape from you, my feet walk towards you, the woman I adore, the woman I'd worship if that's what it would take to get you back. You are my heaven and my hell, there is no haven, shelter, or safe house from you. My heart yearns for you, and only you. My heart has complied to your order, you have it's lock and key. You're my everything, my precious gain, you're the essence of my life, my soul calls out for you like a prayer. That night when I said I didn't need you? That was the biggest lie I have ever told. I love you. Please take me back." I cried, grabbing her palm gently and placing it above my heart

"This? It beats for you." I said, not bothering to wipe my tears

"Please."