(y/f/n) = your full name
(y/b) = your bias, other than Seungcheol
The cool sea breeze was blowing gently against my face, sending strands of my hair floating in the air. My fingers were clasped on the smooth but aged planks of the bench, my eyes never leaving the ground. The vandalised tiles underneath my converse shoes blurred in and out of my vision as my eyes started to sting. I felt my eyes go moist, tears welling up against my water line. I bit my bottom lip, hard to stop its quivering.
No, I cannot cry, not here, not today.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I gasped, a short breath to revive my heart.
No.
I looked up to the orange hues of the sky, blinking furiously to force my tears my back. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the bench tighter. The memories came flooding back, just as my eyes set on the sun slowly retreating behind the endless blue waves.
I caved in, sorrow breaking my only source of support. I clutched my chest, grabbing a fistful of fabric to try to stop the pain. Tears started to stream down eyes as I tried to push away from the truth, the reality of my despair.
He was gone, forever.
I tried desperately to wipe away my tears to only continuing rubbing at my cheeks, again and again. Whimpers escaped my mouth along with my pain that I hid from the world. My shoulders slouched in as I struggled to fight in my own mind. But I knew I that eventually I had to give in, give in to the monster I had built inside of me. My mind went blank, my broken and weak heart taking over.
My fingers slid inside my pocket, trapping a smooth piece of paper in between them. I pulled it out bringing it up to my blurry eyes. The polaroid was adorned with creases and folds and my fingers traced over them, attempting to trace out the lines forged years ago. My eyes searched the two smiling faces in it trying to find the same joy again. The tip of my index finger traced his face's outline bringing back the memories of the day. And no matter how hard I tried, the tears never stopped, the smile never came. I couldn't push on any longer. My hand closed around the polaroid as I stood up from the bench, the cold wind blasting against my shivering body. I cupped my only source of happiness in both of my palms as my feet led me to the edge of the half completed bridge.
I took in a deep breath, admiring the streaks of golden orange, pinks and purples. My lips parted releasing the built up pain inside of me. I formed a fist around the paper in my hand, lifting my leg, hovering over the deep blue water lapping slowly beneath me. I closed my eyes as my mind protested, a voice screaming in denial. But a louder voice pushed me, coaxing me that it would be all over if only I let myself fall. I smiled my last smile, placing the picture close to my heart.
I love you, Choi Seungcheol.
I let myself fall, feeling the speed of the wind rushing up against my face pick up.
"(y/f/n)!" I heard (y/b)'s voice shout behind me, making me pause.
Ignore him, he is not imporatnt for you. Seungcheol is waiting. Go, end your pain. Join him. He's waiting... A voice instructed in my head as I continued to lean over.
Just as my feet left the ground a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist, pulling me back on to the bridge. I inhaled sharply as the cage that blocked my sense was broken, my eyes shooting open.
What was I about to do?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
I broke down, the picture of my death replaying in my mind. My knees hit the ground hard as my hands carassed my face. A familiar warmth enclosed around me as my face went to his shoulder. My arms pulled myself closer to him, my heart trying slowing down with that calming voice of his. His fingers stroked my head as I pacified myself, a horrible mess in his arms. My illness had gone too far. The thought of my non-existent lover had lead me to hanging to my life by a thread. I could not believe myself and how far I had let it to take over me. I couldn't feel anything in my hands, the feeling of paper agaisnt skin was gone, vansihing into thin air.
What had I become?
