Detoured Love

Chapter 32

Chapter 32
ELLA'S POV

I walked hurriedly towards the elevator while Kat was right behind me blabbering something I didn't quite understand. My mind was so occupied with disconcerting thoughts. When the elevator opened, I stepped back. Joel's inside and it seems like he has no plans of getting off.

I turned my back and decided to use the stairs. I really don't want another row with him. I feel so drained and all I wanna do is curl up in bed and doze off.

"Hey, wait!" He was right behind me.

"Please, Joel not now."

"If not now, then when? Come on Ella, let me explain." He pleaded.

"You don't owe me any explanation at all."

"But still I want to explain what you've seen."

"Oh, it's nothing. Just forget it, okay?" I gave him a fake smile and turned to leave.

I was surprised when he grabbed my right arm and held my wrist. It was so sudden that I smacked on his hard chest. I could literally hear the fast and loud beating of his heart. He then put his other arm around me.

"Let me go!" I snarled.

"No, I won't. If I have to chain you just so you would listen, then I would gladly do so."

My free hand suddenly flew to his left cheek. I slapped him real hard that my palm has left an imprint on his fair skin.

"You want to vent your anger? Then slap me more. I'd prefer you this way than you ignoring me!"

"I'm tired, Joel...and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have slapped you."

"No, it's okay sweetheart. I perfectly understand where you're coming from." He cupped my face and caressed it tenderly.

My tears were at bay, but I kept them from falling. I don't want him to see me cry. He's just some guy. Yeah, I admit that I fancy him lately, but what I saw is a reason enough for me to stay away from him.

I look at him stoically, not giving out any emotion. He crouched a little and rested his forehead on mine while his hands held my arms. I let him. I was too tired to even move. His minty breath is fanning on my face. I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself.

"I'm really sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have done it. Anika is already history to me. I didn't enjoy the kiss, promise." His voice is strained. When I looked up once he distanced his forehead from mine, I saw his bloodshot eyes.

I remained impassive. I guess I'm too hurt to say anything. I am in no position to get mad because we're not in a relationship.

"Ella, sweetheart please forgive me." He knelt down while holding my hands. He's on the verge of crying. My heart constricted seeing the pain and remorse in his bloodshot eyes.

"What are you doing? Will you just stand up!"

"I won't, not unless you'd forgive me."

"There is no such thing as instant forgiveness. And besides, you don't owe me anything. It's your private life and I have nothing to do with it."

"But I want you in it. I mean in my life. I want you in my life." He pleaded. Why does he look so hot even in distress?

"This is not the right time to talk about it. My head still hurt, I want to rest."

"Oh, I'm sorry. How insensitive of me. I'll walk you to your door."

I didn't say anything coz I'm sure he will just insist and I'm so drained. When we arrived at my door, Kat was there leaning on the wall. She gave Joel a scathing look.

The moment I opened the door, Joel left after mumbling a goodbye.

"So, what are your plans now?" Kat raised her perfectly drawn eyebrows as she sat on the couch.

"I don't know Kat. My mind is a total mess. I can't think straight."

"Hmmm... Allen is a total bomb huh, no wonder you're confused right now. Hahaha!"

"Shut up Kat! You're not helping."

"I'm just telling the truth. Damn, he's so hot and very good looking. Don't you miss him?"

"Arghh... Will you stop it?"

"Don't tell me you want that asshat Joel more than your first love Allen?"

"Kat, please... I really don't know."

"I have some errands to do. You'd better sort out your tangled thoughts and feelings. Ciao!"

My head is still pounding. I need to get some sleep. But how can I sleep when thoughts of Joel and Allen are alternately floating in my mind? Huh this is more difficult than studying complex dance steps.

But I guess, my mind eventually became exhausted and I dozed off. Hours later, I woke up by a light knock. At first, I thought I was just dreaming, but it didn't stop. I glanced at my alarm clock. It's only one am. My god who could this be? I lazily walk to the door.

"Who is it?"

There was no reply. May be whoever it was has already left. But just when I turned my back from the door, there was another knock.

I slowly opened the door just enough for a peek outside.

"It's late, why are you here?" Joel is leaning on the wall beside my door. His hair is disheveled and he's reeking of alcohol. He must be drunk.

"I miss you." He stared at me with his bloodshot eyes.

"You're drunk. Go home and get dome rest. We'll talk tomorrow."

"I want us to talk now." He insisted.

"Now is not the right time, and besides you're drunk. We'll talk when you're sober."

"But don't you know that a drunk man speaks with a sober heart?"

"Joel, please don't be stubborn. Go home." I said with finality and shut the door.

My heart is pounding real hard. I felt guilty for shutting the door. Am I being too hard on him?

I opened my door back, and there I saw him sitting on the floor with his head on his hands.

"Hey, I'll take you home." He raised his head and gave me a weak smile. Is he crying? His face is damp.

I helped him up and tried to steady him but he's too drunk to stay on his feet. I let him hold on to my waist for support while I put my arms on his shoulders. Good thing he lives next door, I won't be too exhausted to drag him.

Once inside his unit, I slumped him on the couch and stared at his drunken face. His eyes are closed, but I know that he's not yet asleep. Why am I even so concern huh?

"T-thank you, Ella. I'm s-sorry to have bothered you." He slurred.

"It's okay. Just get some sleep. I'll be going now."

I turned my back from him and started walking towards the door when his strong hand suddenly held my wrist and I ended up on his lap.

"Don't leave me sweetheart." He buried his head on my neck while his arms snaked around my waist.

Now I regretted taking him home. My heart is hammering inside my chest.

"Joel, please take your hands off me. It's quite late and I need to get some sleep." I tried my hardest to talk to him gently though I'm already irritated.

"Just five more minutes. I just want to inhale your scent."

And so I let him be.