that's hella kinky || namjoon

cooking at 3am

we kick off our shoes and run into the kitchen. i skim through the freezer until i find a main course, namjoon's dic- kidding, it's a turkey. as i take out the turkey, namjoon looks at me. 

"what?" i ask, cradling the turkey in my arms as if it were a baby.

"that," joon says while pointing at the turkey, "we're cooking a chicken?" 

i scoff, "it's not a chicken, it's a turkey. how could you not tell the difference, you have the highest gpa in our grade!" 

he scratches his head, "im not really the brightest with foods." 

while putting the turkey down to defrost, i run over to the sink, signaling joon to come over, too. 

"wash your hands before we start anything, we don't want to get some virus," i say while turning on the sink.

 dimples shine through his cheeks when he comes over to me. after we both wash our hands, i grab some potatoes from under the cabinet. 

"can i do something?" namjoon says.

"yea, of course. do me a favor and take the plastic wrapping off of the turkey and fill the sink with hot water. that will make the defrosting process much easier."

"alright, i'll do that then." 

"wait, before you fill the sink with water, let me wash the potatoes first. take the wrapping off of the turkey though." 

as im washing the potatoes, i hear a gasp from namjoon, "what? what happened?" i look over.

looking over his back i see he has his fingers inside of the turkey. i slap him on the back, "get your fingers out of the damn turkey, you son of a bitch."

startled, namjoon quickly pulls his fingers out of the poor turkey's crotch, and continues to rip the wrapping off the turkey in silence. after finishing making fresh mashed-potatoes, i notice the boy sitting on his phone, sneaking up on him, i look over his shoulder to see what he's seeing. "turkey pussy" is what he's looking at. 

"kim namjoon you're a fucking furry," i say in amazement. 

"wh-what? no- no, im just- i-" he stutters over his words. 

"okay! well, ive finished with the potatoes, so uh, why don't you stop looking at, what is it, ah! turkey pussy, and defrost the turkey. once you're done with that, you can join me in my room upstairs for a movie," i say before sprinting to the stairway.

.

.

.

while opening the door to my room and i jump onto my bed, intaking the scent of myself. smellin' fucking good bro. while grabbing the tv remote i sit up, i turn on the tv and connect to netflix. 

while scrolling through the movie section for a few minutes, namjoon suddenly runs up on me and crushes my skeleton. i groan, "oh my god, namjoon, get off, ugh"

"sorry," he laughs as he rolls over to the spot next to me.

as i scroll through the movies for a few more seconds, namjoon gets impaitent and takes the remote from me. 

"here, i have a good movie," he says as he looks up a horror movie. 

"namjoon, are you setting me up?" i look over at him

"pfft, maybe." 

"you fucking man-whore." 

"i love you, too, boo!" he says in a high-pitched voice. 

.

.

.

mid-point in the movie there's a jumpscare, and the lady, namjoon, screams, and huddles closer to me. "what, are you scared?" i ask. 

"what? no! im not scared at all," he says as he tucks his face closer into my neck. 

i turn off the tv and start spooning namjoon. "hey cutie, it's kinda late, and since you're scared, we'll just sit here and cuddle." 

as he sighs, he grabs my blanket and covers both of us. 

.

.

.

my eyes shoot open, "fuck! the turkey" i whisper shout. 

namjoon twitches awake and turns around, "hmm?" he hums.

"the fucking turkey is still in the sink!" i say while jumping out of bed, walking to my door. 

"what turkey?" he pauses, "oh!" namjoon comes to a realization while following me out.

"yeah! we needa finish the meal, dammit."

we walk to the kitchen, looking at the clock on the stove, it's 3:32am. 

"hyun, can't we just do this later? it's 3am," joon whines. 

"look, we can't leave the turkey in the water, and we can't just put it back in the fridge, it'll ruin the flavor," i explain. 

he sighs, "okkkk."

"ok if you dont wanna do anything... ill do the turkey shit and you'll assist me by giving me the ingredients i need, deal?" i compromise with him.

"yea, sure, deal." 

.

.

.

 it's 8am, and we've finished the turkey, beautiful and stuffed. on the contrast, namjoon and i are a mess, we're yawning like crazy and practically falling asleep on each others shoulders. namjoon goes back into my room to rest up, while i clean up and cover the food up for later. 

afterwards, i tiredly go back to my room, where namjoon is, and drop my body onto the bed and drift to sleep, this time, namjoon holding me in his arms. 

.

.

.

hiii,

im so sorry this is incredibly late. ive been so busy with my school work, and i havent been so motivated to write. this was supposed to be a thanksgiving special, but ive uploaded it a bit late. i apologize. i'll try to update more, however, it won't be fully edited. i will edit everything after this fan fiction is finished. 

love, 

leensgreens