FOREVER NUMB XXXTENTACION

letter #1

this not a chapter

Dear Jahseh,
I don't know where to start or how to even write on this.
The first time I saw you I thought of you as some werid ass boy that went to my school.
But when I heard you talk my first day of class I loved your voice .
I wanted to learn more about you.
Then that same night we hooked up at our first college party.
When I woke up next to you that morning I thought I could just leave and pretend it didn't happen.
But you found a way to stop me from leaving.
That same day we learned more about each other music wise too.
We talked more and more and you began growing on me in ways I can't explain.
Until I heard you kissed her...
It broke me into shambles as I was having a blackout.
The pill taking began there it started when you did what you did.
I hit up Livian as it was the only way I could cope.
Ceaser came to my dorm that night.
I don't want to discuss what happened.
We were on a path to friendship until we kissed.
Every single time we kissed I fall for you more and more.
When you came back from me homecoming night.
You even fought him for me when you didn't have to.
When the words I love you fell out my mouth.
And they fell out of yours too and didn't even understand.
You wanted me.
I didnt know why.
Our relationship got more and more serious as I almost began to officially start a new chapter with you.
Then you fucked around with her again.
I began to take the blue pill again until I felt better.
Then now your with her but I would leave the letter on the dorm of whoever I chose you will knock.

Love, Juilanna