From: Weiebio inc. To: Millie Brown
Hello there valuable costumer! We have a new shop opening near you! Only three weeks upon the opening! Thank you for your time.
...What the heck? I never subscribed to a Weiebio company? Why are they sending me newsletters via email? Well fuck it. I might as well reply, it's not like anyone will read this since it's made by bots. Fucking scam.
From: Millie Brown
To: Weieibio inc.
I regret to inform you dear "weiebio inc" that your unsubscribe button is not working. I however, am so joyous to find out that one of your delightful marts will be centered right here in my wonderful home of London, England. Write back soon! XXX Mils
That should teach them.
From: Weiebio inc. To: Millie Brown
We are so pleased to hear that you are delighted! We hope you will check our new mart near your home upon it's arrival. One weeks til' arrival!
Also, any further emails will go to the customer service line. Thank you for your time!
Executive manager, Hannah.
Shit. I actually got a real person to reply to me? I must've gotten real far. But who cares? I have time. Let's see how far I can take this.
To: Weiebio inc. From: Millie Brown
;-; Well hello there. You must be a customer service person. Well, since this is the first date, I'm Millie Brown, nice to meet you, and you are?
It's nice to meet you here in my spam folder, kindly tell your boss to not send me and more newsletters, k?
It's been weeks. No answer. I must've exhausted them.
To: Millie Brown From: Weiebio inc.
Hello there. Is there an issue with your unsubscribe button? For more information please click the link I have written below. I also think it's a little bit unfortunate we have to meet in your spam folder, we've just met and we're on a date already? You seem like a nice girl. I'm Finn.
Www.gosuckyourdadyoumulletwearingasshole.ca
Customer Service, Finn Wolfhard (your paying for dinner.)
That son of a bitch Finn. He actually has a sense of humor.
To: Weiebio inc. From: Millie Brown
Hiya Finnie. I'm not paying btw. But tell me about yourself. What landed you here in this crappy scam business? Is it a family thing? And how old are you? Like from young boi to creepy sixty year old man. And did you assume my gender? And no, I'm not a nice girl.
No ones replied. She had hoped that it would be that Finn dude. He seemed to be pretty chill.
and finally,
To: Millie Brown From: Weiebio inc.
It's finn. I assume that your a girl? Unless your a guy, which is cool, no homo though. I didn't bring my wallet to this scam folder, I didn't know I'd have a date today. Also, I'm somewhere between young boi and old sixty year old pedo. Mainly young boi.
My company is not a scam company... At least I dint't think it is.. Honestly I just started my job.
Your one and only customer service, Finn Wolfhard
Oh. He's a funny boi. But not funny enough.
To: Weiebio inc. From: Millie Brown
Hey loser. I'm bored. So how old exactly are you? Like fourteen? Or more prepubescent boy ish. I myself am a seventeen year old female, but do not assume peoples genders. And relax dude. It's not an actual date. 🙄
To: Millie Brown From: Weiebio inc.
Thank you for your time. You will now be listed as customer issue #0000038567 please wait until it's time for us to resolve your conflict.
What the fuck
To: Weiebio inc. From: Millie Brown
Yo Finnland. What's up with the monotone? Msg me back pls. Idc if you are a prepubescent smol boi
To: Millie Brown From: Weiebio inc.
Thank you for your time. You will now be listed as customer issue #0000038568 please wait until it's time for us to resolve your conflict.
Is this a bot?
To: weiebio inc. From: Millie Brown
FINN 1!1!1!
To: Millie Brown. From: Weiebio inc.
Thank you for your time. You will now be listed as customer issue #0000038569 please wait until it's time for us to resolve your conflict.
To: Weiebio inc. from: Millie Brown
FInNLaRD1!1! cOme HeRe YoU sHit
To: Millie Brown. From: Finn Wolfhard
Thanks for getting me fired. I really appreciate it. What am I going to do now? Are you serious? (But I am an eighteen year old smol boi)
To: Finn Wolfhard from: Millie Brown
Oh shit. My bad. Sorry.
Jk Idc. Okay eighteen year old boi, since I saved you from that horrid scam company, dinner with me?
To: Millie Brown from: Finn Wolfhard
......
Sure
