Short Heartbreaking Stories

Fool

All I am is a fool a fool for letting you go for not staying by you when you were in trouble when you're down in the dumps I wasn't there instead I was more busy on other stuff to notice of what was going on with you. I am a fool I trick people into liking whatever I have I don't understand how to like someone without getting hurt in the process me liking someone always going to getting hurt that I let people play me like I'm a toy. I'm used to taking commands filing down and doing what I'm told because that's what I think is best that I never learned to be myself I look behind a paper mask people created for me so that no one will understand who I actually am. Nowadays I started to create my own personality I'm funny smart weird and not very patient. And when I don't get what I understand is I sometimes destroy stuff relationships friendships and many more. I was always told that I can't have what I want because I already knew the answer for it but they didn't they thought I was just scared of love. But in reality love was the thing that made me feel real like I wasn't figurine, a doll, invisible. The one person that did I was scared of what would happen if we ended well we ended what is my own doing granted they they did it but not me I don't want to lose them I loved them I still do. We became very close friends though and I made the move I was asking the question would you be mine. When we broke up I was devastated because I thought my happiness was gone but I created my own I watched stuff that made me happy and I did stuff that made me happy but seeing them with someone else make me unhappy all the stuff that made me happy I grew bored of it. But after a while I felt like I didn't need to live anymore because no one would notice anyway no one would care right. I was wrong cuz when I took that blade to my leg I showed nothing I didn't care I didn't want anyone to care. I still don't want anyone to care.
I thought of this while tell someone I tricked them into loving me. But I did tho. In my head that person that liked me didn't like me back or love me enough to stay by me when I was going thought the confusion of who I am and what am I. I was so scared to show love because Everytime they thought that their family was by we had to act as friends. Why be in a relationship to pretend that there is no love going on. I know that this person will see this a maybe talk to me about it or something. But I know that nothing is going to change between us. ~러 이