Loved Me Back to Life

Chapter 11

Days went by since the night I completely lost control of my body and literally nothing had changed. My family was still trying to get me to speak to them, then getting frustrated and leaving, then coming back with tea and soft voices and when that didn't work they'd get frustrated and leave again. It was a cycle that continued until Wednesday night. That's when they just stopped coming into my room all together. It didn't bother me too much though. Don't get me wrong, it killed me to know that my family could actually treat me like this, but I was so numb from crying, taking all those medications and getting texts from strangers who know a lot about me, that I didn't really feel all that much at this point. I pretty much just laid in bed all day listening to my music on shuffle and let stray tears fall down the side of my face.

As the hours went by, my phone continued buzzing from calls or text messages as I continued to lie flat on my back staring blankly at the ceiling. I wanted to text whoever the person was back, even though I already knew it was Liam, to calm them down, but I didn't want to risk seeing that unknown number on my screen and freaking out again. That's what was going through my mind this whole time. I couldn't even focus on the mellow sounding music that was playing because I was too bothered by the fact that the same number kept sending me messages.

Cause I mean, if it were multiple numbers I'd know they were complete strangers and found this information out to make fun of me and use against me, but it was just one number and they weren't trying to use what they knew about me against me. Rather they were encouraging me to stay strong and keep fighting and told me to text them whenever I needed to even though they wouldn't disclose who they were. That bit is extremely unsettling for me. I didn't really know what to feel about it if I can be honest. Because although I'm completely mortified and distraught at the fact that someone knows so much about me and I know absolutely nothing about them, I'm also so relieved that they aren't trying to blackmail me. But then again, how do I know?

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"Getting left behind

Not being loved

No one understanding

No one caring

are

my fears

I had a dream

I was lost

No one tried to

find me

No one cared

No one listened

understood

Feeling left out

Feeling like no one

understands

Feeling like no one

can hear me

When I'm screaming

to be heard

Destructive behavior

I have

Wishing I could change

Wishing I could make it

better

Wishing for another chance

Wishing for someone who

will come and save me

from myself.

my fears

not being heard

being left behind

not being understood

no one caring.