Loved Me Back to Life

Chapter 7 pt. 1

"Miss? Miss wake up. Did you sleep here all night?"

I felt a strong yet gentle hand on my arm shaking me, rather aggressively, trying to wake me up, but it didn't sound like Katie or Ariel though. I know I have class at 8:40am, but it can't me morning yet can it? It feels like I had finally fell asleep after long sleepless night. But even if if is time to wake up I haven't heard my alarm yet so they have no reason to wake me up. The only reason they know my schedule is because they each asked for copies of it so that they can keep some sort of tracker on me. Whatever. And why were they calling me miss? I finally stopped fighting it and opened my eyes just a little bit and what I saw was nothing I expected. There was a middle aged black lady in a grease stained t-shirt, covered up with an apron, black pants, and tennis shoes with a mop and bucket in hand crouched over me with a worried and questionable expression all over her face. It nearly scared me half to death as my eyes were widened severely and my heart immediately started beating ten times faster. 

"Miss! Miss! Please calm down everything's fine, you're fine!"

I couldn't focus on what she was saying as I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. What was I doing on the floor in the bathroom? How did I get here? 

"Do you need me to get you some help?"

I stared at here and shook my head sharply trying to get my point across that I don't want anyone to come in here and see me like this. After another five minutes of 'shhh sweetie's' and 'it's okay's' and gentle rubs on my arm, I fully calmed down and was able to think about how I got here. I stopped moving for a few seconds to really focus on what happened and when the memory started fading in I frantically looked around myself searching for my notebook to check if I had written anything from yesterday. Of course I did. As soon as I read the little entry that I had, I remembered everything that happened and my heart, again, staring pounding inside my chest. I then picked up my phone to see if anyone had text me back regarding the apologies I sent out and to my surprise, I had five text messages, six voicemails from Michelle, ten text messages and fifteen voicemails from Liam and Zayn, and twenty texts and voicemails, each, from Katie and Ariel. I felt awful for making them worry so much about me and I wanted to go back to my room to let them know that I'm okay, but I'm kind of nervous about how they'll react. I mean, I don't want them to like, smother me with questions and call everyone to let them know I'm back and have them come over with even more questions, you know?

"I'm not trying to rush you sweetie, but I kind of have to do my job and clean up in here."

Her voice was rough but had no aggression in it. I grabbed my notebook and phone and slowly stood up, trying to avoid eye contact with the lady, and fixed myself the best that I possibly could, even though I still looked a complete mess. 

"Alrighty now, go on and head to class so you won't be late."

I heard the smile in her tone as she sent me off with another rub on my arm and I stiffly nodded my head, still not looking at her face. I did have class today but I was already an hour late as it is now 9:42am, and I didn't feel like walking in and have everyone turn their attention towards me and make me feel uncomfortable, so I decided to just wait it out until my next class at 10:40. That was most definitely the worst class on my schedule because it's my communication class. As in speech class. As in I have to speak in front of my class for a grade. That's shit if you ask me! And it sucks because I already know that I'm gonna fail the class and then I'll have to take it over again and again until I pass. This is way too much to think about this early.

I had eventually made it up to my floor and was walking to my door and right before I slid my key through I froze up in anticipation of what was going to happen when I walked in. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm myself down and brought my hand up to swipe my key to enter the dorm, and when I walked inside it was quiet. That wasn't what I expected, but I didn't mind in the least bit. I was extremely relieved and felt a hundred times more relaxed as I continued walking towards my room and I didn't hear the slightest noise. My excitement faltered a little though as I approached my door because Ariel could be awake and when she sees me she's gonna be loud and announce that I'm hear then Katie would come in and I'm definitely not ready for that. But I had to go in there and at this point I just wanted to get it over with, so I twisted and pushed the handle of the door to open it and I walked in with my head down not wanted Ariel to see the shame and embarrassment all over face then I closed the door behind me. When I was completely enclosed in my room I felt… alone, so I lifted my head, only a little, and looked to Ariel's side of the room and realized that I was indeed alone. Ariel's bed was messed up and there were clothes all over it and it wasn't until then that I remembered she was in class. My head was able to be raised once again and my shoulders were no longer slumped and I was allowed to feel relaxed once again. I let out a small sigh in relief and revealed a smile so small I probably wouldn't even call it a smile. I walked over to my desk and sat down with my notebook, opening it up and just let the pen hit the paper not knowing what would come out.