The Space Speculation: Book 2 ~Painful Past~

Chapter 31: Living Under Fear

I lived in fear from that moment on. Whenever I took a sick day, I could always spot Calvin's crummy station wagon parked at the corner of our road, ensuring he could keep an eye on my every move.

Tom worried something was wrong when I came home from work looking shaken and frightened, but, like the amazing husband he was, he never asked questions; he just comforted me the best he could. Paisley hosted small dinners with cookies and plastic dinnerware for Thomas and I in desperate attempts to make me feel better and act more like myself; not a cold, scared Plutonian whose life was controlled by an evil psycho maniac Neptunian.

Some nights I couldn't resist escaping into the bathroom to sit and cry until morning. I decided I would stop visiting Bill after what happened.

Every month I would use the communicator very carefully, stopping to talk to Bill for only a few minutes. A few months after Calvin confronted me, I drove out to an empty field with the communication device to contact Bill one last time.

The day before, Calvin had left a note on my desk warning me to stop. I was scared. Calvin was in total complete control of me, no matter how small or insignificant my life was.

Bill's voice sounded concerned when I told him we couldn't communicate with each other anymore.

"Why?" he asked.

I sighed.

"Someone at my work. He knows something. I can't tell you everything, but, long story short, I can't trust anybody, and he knows about the communicator. I'm sorry, Willie..." I stopped short. Bill was silent.

"Who?"

"Uh..."

Hundreds of thoughts raced through my mind in that one moment. Thoughts about my past, about William; the boy he used to be; the man he had become. My little slip-up with words had unlocked millions of memories. I almost broke down sobbing right there in my Jeep, in the middle of the large empty field, at eleven seventeen p.m., staring up into space, where I knew my baby boy was.

"Hello? Pizzy?" I snapped out of it and told him that I couldn't talk to him anymore and that I was so sorry, then I turned off the communicator before he could reply.

I leaned my head on the dashboard of the jeep and cried. I cried until I had to stop because I had to get home. At 7:00 in the morning, I quietly pulled into the driveway and snuck into bed to silently cry myself to sleep for an hour before I left for work again. I woke up at 7:54 and tried to stop sobbing and think.

I had thought my life was almost perfect; then Calvin ruined it. I rolled over and glared at the ceiling. He was as bad as his despicable son, Chad.

I stood up and sighed before getting dressed. I was ready (not really) to endure another miserable day at work.

After nearly two and a half years of absolute turmoil, when Paisley turned twelve, something began that changed my life.

I had sworn never to speak to Bill again because of the danger of using the communicator, but I made an exception that day. It had been so long, and my heart ached every day I didn't hear his voice. Besides, I was mostly sure that Calvin had stopped inspecting my personal life so closely after the first year or two.

It was August 14th at two o' clock in the morning after Paisley's birthday. I was restless in bed, so I slipped on my robe and bunny slippers and hopped in the Jeep to go to that empty field I used to contact Bill from.

Slowly, as the excitement built up inside of me, I used my thumb to switch on the communicator. I seconds later heard a gasp from the other end.

"Pizzy?"

"Yes, Bill, it's me!" I shrieked quietly.

"Pizzy, I can't believe it! I mean, it's been so long!"

"I know, Bill. If you want, we could start using these again?"

"Yes, I would love to! We've been waiting a year for you to respond!"

I took a deep breath.

"So, how are things on Pluto? It's been a while."

Bill chuckled. "Well, not much. I turned twenty-one two days ago."

I smiled. "Happy belated birthday," I said softly.

"Thanks," Bill replied.

"What's going on there?"

"Well," I started,

"Paisley's 12th birthday was yesterday."

"Wow!" Bill said happily.

"Look, I know this is a lot to ask, but could you come back sometime? The kids have been really agitated, asking where Pizzy is."

I grinned. "I think it's safe to visit once or twice. The man that I told you about has stopped checking in on me so much. I can come in..." I thought for a moment.

"A couple of days. Pluto days."

A week later was Tom's day to go to work. I told Paisley she could spend the day at her friend Amelia's house, then I hopped in the pod, pressed some colored buttons, and blasted into space.

I visited several times a year after ensuring it was safe to do so. It was only a year and a half later when Calvin began to check on me again.

He harshly glared at me as I walked into work one day.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stiffly walked through the door, where he nodded towards the once-inviting blue chair. I put on a smile, hoping he couldn't see the fear building up behind my eyes, and sat down.

This section was written by Melina.