Letters From Augustus

Chapter 4

  I decided that since I only have 2 more months, more or less, to live, I might do things I haven't done before. It might make me die faster but honestly,  what do I have to lose? My parents already have their gameplan for after I'm deceased, Kaitlyn and I never talk, but Isaac... Oh Isaac. I'm the only one he has other than his mom.

"I am so sorry Isaac." I whispered to myself.

A tear trickled down my cheek. I was unintentionally leaving, but my leaving was intentional enough to make me feel bad about dying. Which I honestly shouldn't have because I'd been waiting for it all my life, but when it comes down to it I was afriad of what was next. What happened after? Would I just be a wondering soul in an endless abyss? Or would I be reincarnated into someone with much better lungs? Maybe I'd see Gus again. Maybe that's what I yearned to die for. Maybe that's just what I needed.

I took Gus' box of letters off of my dresser and sat up on my bed. I opened the box and took only one letter out.

Dear Hazel Grace,

     I finsished The Imperial Affliction. I also emailed the author, well, his assistant.  I know how much you love this author so I'd like to meet him. I'd like to meet him with you Hazel Grace. Anyway, his assistant wrote back to me! You're going to freak when I tell you over the phone later! I sincerely cannot wait to hear your reaction.                   I know it's only been a few days, but I think I Love you Hazel Grace Lancaster.

                                           Yours Truly,

                                                     Augustus

I closed my eyes and remembered that day. I remembered us. I picked up the next letter.

Dear Hazel Grace,

       Haha! You freaked!!!! I can't believe you agreeed to go to Amsterdam with me!!! Hazel Grace, we are going to have so much fun. We're going to meet our favorite author! I simply can't wait to spend time in Amsterdam with you. Hazel Grace, I hope you feel the same way about this as I do. I am seriously so exited. Anyway, sorry this letter is so short. I'll write you again soon. But right now, i am going to sleep. Goodnight Hazel Grace, have sweet dreams. (:

                                    Yours Truly,

                                        Augustus

That was when things started to get bad for him. I didn't know for awhile after this letter.  I can't believe Isaac didn't tell me. Another tear left each of my eyes as I closed the box and put it back on my dresser. I looked at the mirror across from my bed. My mom had told me the mirror would look good in my room because of the way it was set up, but really it just reminds me I'm dying. I could've probably fit a dozen things in the bags under my eyes and my skin was paler than any vampire I had ever seen. I looked like Dracula but without the fangs and the v hairline he has. My hair was bridle and breaking off at the ends. And even worse, my depression was getting deeper. Depression is a side effect of dying. But isn't life just a big side effect? We all die. It like a plate.. There's depression and Life as the sides and Death is the main course. Nobody lives forever.

And now I had to finish my forever.