Beauty Inside

Chapter 21

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Summer's POV

I woke up the next morning in the comfort of Justin's arms wrapped around my body, his head laying against my chest. Curious of the time, I slowly turned myself around, glancing at the red illuminating light indicating that it was only seven in the morning. It was too late to go back to sleep because once my eyes open, I'm awake for the rest of the day. For some reason, my body wanted nothing more, than to take a nice, relaxing, hot shower. Trying my best, I slowly removed Justin's arms off me, gently crawling off the bed until my feet touched the cold wood floor. Step by step, I tip-toed my way to the bathroom, careful to not make a sound, gently shutting the door behind me.

Looking in the mirror, I observed the giant troll in my reflection. My hair was a mess, my makeup from last night was smeared all over my eyes, and my eyes were complimented with the giant bags resting under them. But then, I realized that I wasn't in the dress that I wore last night.

I was in a t-shirt. Justin's t-shirt.

Shit, I can barely remember anything that happened last night. I know that we didn't have sex because I'm not sore or anything. But, if I changed, this must mean that he saw my body. He saw my chest. I know I sound stupid, but I just.... I just wasn't ready to. The insecurities I have from my body was the only wall left between Justin and I that I'm not ready to break down yet. It's just, if I can't accept my own body, what would he think? He could only think worst.

I stood in the mirror, just staring at my reflection, but realized that I was wasting time not doing anything. I grabbed the end of my shirt, crossing my arms over each other, lifting it over my head, tossing the shirt onto the ground.

Then I just, stared.

I stared at my body and my eyes began to water, just like every time. Memories, painful memories, filled my mind. Staring at my body I began to remember how much I wanted to be like the "other" girls who had the body figure every girl wishes for. Memories of the painful words thrown at me because my body was different flowed through my mind. Flashbacks of nights of me crying, praying asking God to change the way I looked not so I would think I was beautiful, but so others would think I was, came back into my head, haunting my thoughts. Because if nobody wants to be with you, then are you really beautiful? Does your own opinion even matter if no one agrees with you? I know that I have a boyfriend who says he's with me for who I am, but I feel like if he saw all of me, I wouldn't live up to his expectations. That I would be a disappointment. A joke.

I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run down my body, gently burning my skin. I stepped under the water letting the water fall down my face, as it blended in with my tears. I'm not sure as to how long I was in the shower for, but it must had been a while because the water was slowly turning colder.

I was interrupted from my shower, when I heard a knocking on the door. "Summer?" I heard Justin yell through the door.

"Hold on one second!" I yelled over the shower, quickly shutting off the water. I safely stepped out on the black tile, grabbing my towel to wrap it around my body.

"Hey." I opened up the door.

"Goodmorning." Justin walked in, kissing my lips.

"Goodmorning." I gave a small smile.

"So, I have to go to the studio today. Some of my team flew in, and I have business that I just needs to get done as soon as possible."

"But you said that this would be a vacation. No music, no work, nothing but us." I whined.

"Yeah, I know. That's what I thought to, but things just come up. Trust me, I would love nothing more than to just spend time with you today, but I can't." Justin rubbed the sides of my arms. "But, I promise, tonight will make up for all of it."