Ok, so today hasn't been the best ((understatement of the century)) but I wanted to tell you all some of what I'm ... Talking about?
I've been struggling with depression for almost a year. I told myself I didn't have it, then when I knew I did, I told myself I didn't need to tell mum. I can handle it in my own. But I couldn't. And now when I tell her she thinks I'm joking.
Then there's my flaws. I love this one person so much, but they let me down. Like they all do. And this person doesn't have wattpad so it's not you. I think something that happened this morning just triggered all the shit that's been going through my head. It wasn't even that bad, I think it's just the thought of a certain person leaving me, like everyone else did, I just can't handle. They've helped me through so much. And if they're reading this, they know who they are.
Now to the scary part. The lying
I'm not telling you exactly what I lied about, but I hate that I did it. I'm lying to you all the time. Everytime I tell someone about this, that's when they leave me. The world is so fucked up, that when someone is like me, they don't think about their feelings, or how they could help them, they just leave. I say I have friends irl when I only have some. I say so much to make me sound better than I am, and I think I just want a friend. A real friend, who won't leave me over some stupid shit, but a person like me doesn't deserve someone like that.
Ask questions, unfollow me, block me, mute me, report me, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't care anymore. I just want everything to be over. Why can't it just end?
