My fight against Breast Cancer

19

I was tossing and turning trying to fall asleep. But I just couldn't get myself to fall asleep. There were so many things on my mind. The cancer, Grace passing away, Edwin being with his friends. And so many more things. I know if I want to tick of the being in love thing I have to admit it to myself that I am in love. I am in love with Edwin. But I'm scared of this. I have one of the worst cancer's in the world. It's hard enough for me fighting this cancer. I don't know if I'm strong enough to leave someone behind that I love too. I sighed looking at the ceiling and I decided to go get a glass of water and see if it will help. I was tired but I just can't seem to fall asleep. 

I go to the kitchen and get a glass out of the cupboard. I get myself some water and sit down at the counter to drink my water. I look up to the clock in the kitchen and it was 1am in the morning. I hear the front door open and I just stare down to the counter at my glass of water. Edwin comes in the kitchen and he stares at me when I look up at him. He frowns at me.

"What are you still doing up?" he asks me. I just sighed and get up and I put my glass in the sink. 

"Are you okay?" he asks me. 

"Yeah. I just had some things on my mind and couldn't sleep. How was your night?"

"It was fine. My friends are still partying but I just wasn't up for it anymore so I came home."

"Well I'm going to try and get some sleep now." I said and I left the kitchen. 

Edwin stays in the kitchen a while. I go up the stairs and I hear him coming up too after he switched the lights off. I stand at my door of my room and I stare at him before I go in when he comes up. He stares at me too and he smirks. I bit my lip in deep thought and he comes to me. We didn't break the stare, he stands in front of me and I felt my cheeks turning red. He gives me another smirk when he puts his hands on my hips and he puts me against the wall and he kisses me softly on my lips. I closed my eyes and put my hands behind his neck kissing him back. We break the kiss a bit and stare at each other, he was smirking and I bit my lip. I move my stare down to his lips and he smirks again.

"I like you too. I can't stop thinking about you." he whispers. I look up at him in his eyes and he smiles. And he kisses me again on my lips.

We kissed intensively. He moves his hands down to pick me up and he pressed me against the wall while he kisses me with lust and passion. I pulled him closer on his hair. He walks into my room and lets me on my feet again and he closes the door. He turns around I stare at him again biting my lip, he smirks again and he comes to me and he kisses me again with lust and passion. I put my hands in his hair and he picks me up. We go to the bed and he puts me on the bed. He takes out his things of his pockets, one of it was condoms. He takes his shirt off while I stare at him. He chuckles at me for staring and I blushed breaking the stare. He takes his pants off and he gets on top of me. I stare him in his eyes when he lay between my legs. 

I bit my lip when he smirks at me. I put my hand on his cheek and I rub his cheek softly with my thumb. He smiles and he comes in to kiss me again. He puts his lips on mine and he takes my bottom lip in his mouth, gently biting and pulling it with his mouth, making me moan a bit. He smirks leaving my lip and he moves his mouth to my neck. I lift my head up to give him access to my neck and he nibbles me gently in my neck, making me chuckle when he does. I put my hands in his hair to pull him away a bit. He chuckles and he kisses me softly in my neck, giving me chills. 

"Were you planning something with someone tonight with all those condoms in your pockets?" I ask him. He chuckles and he stare me in my eyes.

"You're the only girl on my mind lately." he says smirking. I smile and bit my lip.

"I only want you baby." he says and I chuckle. 

He smiles and he kisses me on the mouth with lust and passion. He lifts my legs up against him and he rubs himself up on me while we kiss. I moan in his mouth, putting my hands in his hair. He breaks the kiss and stare me in my eyes.

"Do you want to?" he asks. No one has ever ask me before if I want to or not. I stare at him for a while and I nod.

"Yes." I said softly. "But can we not take my shirt off?"

"Baby you don't have to be ashamed with me about the cancer." he says and he kisses me softly on my lips.

"I- I just can't take my shirt off."

He nods and he lifts my shirt up just a bit to reveal my stomach. He kisses me softly on my stomach and my back arches and I leave out a soft moan. He takes my shorts and he pulls them off. He goes down with his mouth to my panties and he kisses me through my panties. I moaned and push myself to his mouth. He takes my panties off and he laid with his head between my legs. He starts licking me up and down on my clit. Making me moan with my back arching. He was gentle and he slowly licks me up and down. He stops after a while and comes back up to my mouth. He kisses me on my lips intensively and my breath was heavy. He puts his finger on my clit and gently rubs it in circles, I moan in his mouth and push myself up again. He continues and I soon released, he groans in my ear with lust while kissing me in the neck. He takes a condom and he takes his underwear off. I stare at him when he puts the condom on. He smirks at me when he was done putting the condom on. He lay on top of me, staring me in my eyes, smirking at me. I bit my lip and kissed him on his mouth. He takes my leg again and pressed it against him while he slides his member into me. I gasp when he finally hits my spot. He starts moving slowly at first when we both moan getting used to each other. Then he moves a bit faster and deeper into me. We both moaned loudly when he thrust in and out of me. We both released and he kisses me softly on my mouth when he released. He pulls out of me and takes the condom off. He throw it in the bin and he laid next to me. He pulls me closer to him and I wrap my leg around him. I laid with my head on his shoulder while he puts his hand on my waist. He kisses my forehead and we both laid there in each others arms. Both of us closed our eyes and we drifted off into sleep. This was the first time I ever made love to someone. This wasn't just sex for me I could feel how we connected and how much different this was from just having sex with someone. For the first time I felt the chemistry everyone always talked about when it comes to these things.

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