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I've always felt left out things...
The outcast in every friend group. I feel invisible to everyone.
I want to be loved. I want to he happy with myself but I can't. I can't stay happy or be happy.
Staying in this place made realize that being numb is the answer. Feeling numb so you don't have to feel anymore.
Everywhere I go someone is judging me.
I know i'm insecure about every little flaw makes me fall more into my depression. I hate eyes. They judge from far away.
I hate everything and everyone.. I hate myself more and more each day.
I thought medicine would work but no it doesn't work. I keep ending up at placements..
I just want someone to know how it's like to be. I feel like I'm roaming in a dark room trying to find myself but I can't seem to.
No matter how people try to understand me they just can't. It seems like I'm helping others while I'm falling into more pieces...
No matter how much I try I'm at the same place at the same time.
Music helps me drown out my thoughts of
Wanting to end things.
I always find love in the wrong places.
Maybe that's a sign that I deserve no love from anyone.
I'm going to continue pushing people away.
Locking them out.
Maybe that's the best thing to do..
I drink my pain away until I'm limp.
I'm pathetic.
I've always been.
