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I'm tired.. Tired of being lonely, and depressed. I'm tired of being left out; tired of being hurt for doing something wrong. Nobody's perfect and I wish people could see that. I'm tired of my "friends" leaving me out of everything; just because I'm too energetic. I'm tired of being called stupid, dumb and ugly. I wish I had real friends; instead I'm left when fake ones that I can't seem to cut off. I'm tired of feeling lost, no sense of what I'm doing with my life. I hate that I can't seem to control my thoughts when I'm alone. I hate that I seem to look for love in the wrong places. I'm tired of trying to fill the big void in my heart with fake friend and toxic relationships. I seem to always self sabotage everything I do because I don't think I deserve anything. My relationships will soon be temporary. I soon will close everyone out of my pathetic life. I hate that I'm in the situation I'm in. The only thing that is keeping me from ending it all is my siblings. I don't want to be called "selfish" for killing myself I want people to think of it as a gift to the world.. No one has to "deal" with me anymore; I don't have to be a burden to anyone anymore. I hate that I seem to piss people off without even trying. My existence is waste to the world. I shouldn't have been born; all I experience is pain and hatred from individuals.. I hate when I feel like the victim and feel bad for myself. I end up crying myself to sleep most of the time. My past haunts me to the point I can't even have a moment to myself; my thoughts scare me. I blast music everyday so I don't have to hear those self destruct thoughts; I seem to get in trouble for doing so but little they know I have a reason to doing so. Everyday seems to be the same; same things, same people, same everything. My self esteem is so low that it reaches hell.. I wish I was a person that everyone likes; a optimistic person. Someone people look up to; respect, someone who is attractive and everyone wants to be that person. Everywhere I go I get strange looks; I know what they're saying.... "Whore","Slut","Faggot" I often get judged by the way I dress; I just want to comfortable in my body but no, you won't let me. Always downing me and making me feel like a slut. Calling me "cheap" or "I look like I'm going to work the corner". These words coming out of someone I love.. Calling me "double gay" because I like both genders. You always bring up my mom and tell me I should live with her knowing I don't want to. You verbally abuse me making me feel dumb, unwanted, not loved and crazy. You make me want to slit my wrist and play in the blood... I can't leave my friends.. I should just take it. It's not as bad.. At least she's not hitting me.. I just want you to stop making me feel like I'm less of a person.. I'm sorry that you don't agree with my opinions but don't take it out on me. Don't compare me to other people please. I understand if you could care less if I left or not, but I'm only doing this so I can be there for my friends. My friends are important to me.. They support me unlike you. It's worth getting hurt by you just to see my friends.
