Warmth

PaLe Hands In the Dark

My body squeezed into the tight space, having a little trouble with my melon sized belly. The space led right in the slanted hallway. The first floor corridor where I had collapsed some time in the short period it took for our home to be destroyed. It was dark inside & the only light was coming from a small hole. So I reached out & felt my way through the darkness, using the light as best as I could.

Somewhere in the hallway were drawers that held flashlights. I had to find them somehow. It would be easy considering the fact that there were drawers on each side of the wall only ten feet apart until the hallway ended. But, it was a wide hallway so it wouldn't be too easy. There were bound to be obstacles in the way as well. I had to be careful.

I inched forward but stopped as soon as the sound of glass scraping the floor immediately followed. Curious where the glass came from, I bent down to examine the cluster of broken glass in all shapes & sizes. My fingers felt its way through tiny bits on the floor like a professional blind man... whatever that meant. It felt a little odd to be feeling glass beneath my fingertips & quite honestly, I was scared to get cut. It was like walking in the beach but then getting cut due to a sharp object. You know it's there but you can't see it. That kind of scary. Something pointy touched my palm, causing me to feel imaginary glass cut me. It was hard not being able to see much. It was like I was so vulnerable. Blind & out in the open. I felt like someone would just grab me or try to hurt me. The hand I held retracted in surprise. A small sigh cursed its way out through my plump lips as I gathered courage to find the glass' source. A pale hand returned to the mess of broken glass. My fingers weaved through it all until they stumbled upon a wooden frame. This probably held a photo so I picked it up then dusted any remaining glass off of it. I'd check what it was later on.

A groan rumbled out of my chest as I hauled my extra weight up & onto my feet. I couldn't wait until she was out of me because, well, this was a rather large load to carry. Glass crunched from underneath leather combat boots. Tiny spikes dug into the soles of my feet, sending shivers down me spine. It was a great day to wear platform boots otherwise I'd have shards of broken glass deep into my skin like the last time I was here. This place shouldn't be remembered as the place of broken glass... maybe broken memories, but it should be remembered for more than that. It was a place that housed the best people & the most beautiful memories. Another step. A few more of those & my heavy boots bumped against a fallen piece of furniture. This had to be one of the drawers, I thought. Pale hands grabbed both sides of the wooden box before hauling it up with ease. They patted their way until they found the knob. A smile tugged the corner of my lips upward before pulling the drawer open. I felt the inside for a flashlight of some sort. Luckily, I found a large LED flashlight. I turned it on with a click. I pointed the light all around the hallway to examine it. Somehow this corridor wasn't as damaged as most of the home. There were only toppled drawers, fallen chandeliers, broken picture frames, & one small collapsed part of the ceiling. And darkness. Lots of it.

A beam of bright white light shown directly ahead of me. The stairs. My smile curled outwardly as I made my way to the end of the corridor which happened to be our stairs. It was always dark there, so I knew my way up or down. I didn't have to struggle too much now because I had the light.

I made my way upstairs in comfortable silence. Of course I was careful not to step on glass & avoided the bad stairs. Despite all the darkness, I was used to it. I actually welcomed it. Why? This place was home... it used to be home. But it still housed the greatest memories. I was unafraid. I looked around the second floor, surprised to see that this part of the house was still standing. Subconsciously, I found my way to Brian & I's room, sat on the bed then pulled the toppled bedside drawer back into place. The damaged lamp & lampshade was then put back on its rightful place. It was just like before when I was stuck decomposing on the bed, feeling sorry for myself about Brian leaving. Quite honestly, I missed him. I missed him so much that it was starting to feel wrong. I just feel like there was this missing piece inside my chest that made me hollow... & that piece was him. The piece that was ripped out of my chest then taken to a far place. The farther he got, the more the emptiness ate away my joy.

A pale slender fingered hand reached then pulled open the drawer. Just like before. There, inside, was a cheap piece of paper I knew too well.

Thank you for the remaining 40 people that read this. I appreciate your time.

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