2.
The pain, the realisation, the loss. I can't deal with everything, it hurts too much. Because I know that maybe he won't wake up in time for the baby's first steps or first word. I don't even know how to tell the baby that his or her dad is in a coma, how do you explain what even coma is to a child? Mom promised me that she would help me raise this child if he won't wake up in time and so did his mom but it doesn't mean anything to me. I need him to be here with me, I need him to say that everything is going to be okay, I need him to tell me that I'm not crazy and that I'm going to get through this. I simply need him in my life. I've always needed him and I always will.
"Char, you're in there?" I hear Kenneth and his knocking. I get out of bed and open the door for him
"What do you want?" I ask him but he just lets himself in my room and sits down on my bed
"Wow, you have a file for every one of us?" he asks me and opens his file. I sit down beside him and take the file out of his hands
"That's confidential. Now, what are you doing here?" I ask him and take all the files out of his hand reach
"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. And I think I know what your problem is. You're scared that if you'll talk you'll betray him, you think that if someone else would know your problems except for him he'd feel betrayed but that is not true and deep down you know it too," he says, I just roll my eyes and shake my head
"I love you, Kenny. You are one my best friends and I know that you don't want me to push my feelings aside but this is who I am and you can't change that," I tell him as he takes my hand. His hands are warm and soft but I pull my hand away from him and walk towards the window.
"No, this is who you became. This isn't you and you know it," he says but stays on my bed. I stay quiet for a moment but then just start talking.
"I hesitated before I got in the car. He assured me that it is going to be okay and I believed him but I still had this awful feeling that something will happen. He asked me in the car if I trust him and I told him that I do. We were almost there, it was the last crossroad, we had already past the one where we had our first accident and I saw that his hands were shaking, he was biting his bottom lip which is a sign that he's nervous. Everything seemed just fine but then it happened again, I saw the lights of the other vehicle and then I felt the pain but it was different than the first time. I knew at that moment that he protected me, that he saved my life. Then at first, I didn't understand him but when I woke up I remembered and it killed me because he told me that he'll love me forever. It kills me every day because I know that I haven't told him back and now he's gone, and what bothers me is that I've been there, in that dark place where you don't know where you are or what has happened. I don't remember any of it except what happened the last few days, I remember Anders talking to me the day I woke up but everything else is just blank. And knowing that he may not even remember me when he wakes up, it just makes me feel anxious and more that I'm talking about it more anxious I am," I finally say what he's been waiting for since the day one. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and turn to face him
"He had exactly the same fears, as you have now when you were in a coma and when you two got back together I noticed how nervous he suddenly got. I asked him what's wrong and at first he didn't want to talk about it but after a few days he told me that he is scared that if you'd have another accident it would end up even worse. But then the last weeks before the accident, he relaxed a bit and then the accident happened. He knows that you love him even though you didn't tell him at that moment he knows, everybody does. I'm glad you talked to me, Char," he says and comes to hug me
We talk for a bit but then he has to leave to get to training, I go and fix my make up then I change my outfit to something warmer, I'm just putting on my boots when someone knocks. I go and open the door where I find one of the coach's assistant.
"Hi," I say not really sure what he's doing here.
"Can I come in?" he asks and I nod. I let him in and close the door behind him.
"I and Anders were talking before the accident about this but after the accident, I didn't really know how to bring it up. But, I've talked to the coach and to Robert about it and we decided that we're going to do this for you to feel more accepted and better while with us," he answers my question and passes me team's jacket. I already had one of those but this one is different.
"The backside," he gives a hint and I turn the jacket.
It is different. There is my name written on the back and I feel tears in my eyes. It says Charlotte Johansson Fannemel.
"Thank you," I whisper and put it on. He says you're welcome and leaves my room.
I look at myself in the mirror, I turn around and look at my back. It looks really nice and it feels really good. It feels like he's here with me. I don't zip it just yet, I can see my baby bump showing a little bit but I don't think anyone else will notice. Then I zip my jacket and leave my room.
ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ
A/N
Hello my loves,
welcome to the sequel! I know it's part two already but I didn't want to bother you with my speech in the first part already.
How do you like it so far? Anything you'd like to change? Any ideas for what will happen next?
Also, I suppose that if you're reading my fanfiction you watch ski jumping. So, do you watch any other winter sport? I'm really excited for ski jumping but today the alpine skiing season has started.
Please read, vote, comment!
Thank you for everything,
A. S. T.
YOU ARE READING
DAYS WE'VE SPENT APART (Anders Fannemel)
Fiksi Penggemar"Everything's going to be okay," Kenneth says "Never say this again," I say and walk away THIS IS A SEQUEL TO "DAYS I'VE SPENT WITHOUT YOU (Anders Fannemel)". IT'S RECOMMENDED TO READ THAT ONE FIRST!
