I walk up to you like a baby in its first steps,
Closing the distance between us.
I am almost yours and you mine.
"Never mind gravity, I see your arms," I said.
And that smile. Like a mother to its babe, genuine and warm.
As if saying, "I've waited long for this. Come to me and I'll hold you."
I'm almost there, my love. Almost there.
But you turn your head away and your arms fall from their stretch.
My support has vanished,
And suddenly I'm down.
I fall. I fell. I've fallen.
And I stay there, helplessly injured.
No scratch, but bleeding.
No gash, but bleeding,
No physical pain, but the heart is aching.
Why did you leave when I was so close?
Why abandon me when I was almost yours?
Have you lost all faith in me?
You swore you'd wait until I was ready.
Until I could forsake the world, conquer my fears, and be yours to forever hold.
You said you'd wait until I finally could.
And I did try, but slowly.
Yet I did.
And I thought you'd be there to hold me.
I hoped, baby. I hoped.
But you let me down when I was almost there.
I was so close, but you didn't let me reach you.
Now I'm on the ground and on my knees,
Back to my old, fragile self---
Crawling.
10.30.18
