He was the sun that set and never rose again. The day that brought dark. The light that ceased to validate a tropic's morning.
I sat on the edge of the cliff with an abysmal ravine waving hello underneath my swinging feet. The mountain is now my comfort. And I waited in the dark as it ruled over the skies and land and seas. I waited as I saw nothing. Yet in my heart was an undying hope to find him again someday.
Parang maliit na bagay. Napakaimportante. Walang kapantay sa halaga. At nabitawan mo iyon. Nahulog sa kung saan. At madilim. Madilim na madilim. Kahit anong kapa mo, hindi mo ito mahanap. Pero hindi ka tumitigil.
He was the familiarity that my body has mastered. A song I could sing flawlessly even in my worst stages of Alzheimer's.
Isang hawak lang, isang dama...alam ko. Kahit sa dilim, at kahit maraming nagkalat na kung anu-ano. Isang hawak lang, isang dama...alam ko.
He was the light that never peeked and never again broke the sky in two.
Hopeless, I stood.
And helpless, I wavered.
Good bye to him who never came back.
Good bye.
One step before the other.
The gravity, ever so helpful, pulls me in.
I fall down but without a scream.
O abyss so deep, until when will I keep falling and where will I hit?
Then I hit.
And everything goes...black?
But everything has gone black since he left.
He doesn't know, all is black without him.
Maybe it took me years in my slumber.
Deep, slow, agonizing.
I open my eyes.
Only to shut them immediately at the sudden wash of light.
Light!
I open my eyes to welcome it.
The light I've loved, the warmth I've missed.
I smile as he pulls me into a tight embrace.
"Don't you ever, ever do that again." he says.
12.02.18
