Undercover ➳ Pesy

chapter 18 ➳ not even the sleep she needs

"I'm gonna walk a mile today, a mile will make me me farther away, ohhh a mile away." Alex sang in an accent, the song he created when we told him we were just a mile away. A mile away from going home, where, I still don't feel we should be going.

Turns out, while I was guarding, Reggie slept with Jed, they're very attached now. He held the dog tightly in his arms while the rest of us walked holding hands.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Perrie cooed, stopping in her tracks and standing in front of me. Suddenly, the floor became much more interesting. I was scared to tell her what was wrong, afraid it would terrify her too. I didn't have the guts to tell my girlfriend that we might be in danger.

"N-Nothing.. it's fine." She lifted my chin, "Jess, if you're upset— and don't say you aren't I can see it in your face. I need to know why babydoll." She frowned. "I can't.. Perrie I love you but I can't tell you." "Oh.. okay." Her face dropped, she looked hurt and I couldn't bear it anymore. I ran to catch up with the group. I looked back, she stared at the floor while she dragged her feet, step after step.

I felt horrible, but she'd have another anxiety attack if I told her how I felt. Warm, salty tears fell down my cheeks as I walked, eyeing Jade and Lei gh's hands, intertwined— wishing that could be us right now. Instead, I went and fucked it up, making my girlfriend think I was going to break up with her.

"Jesy, what's wrong girl?" Alex held onto my shoulder, I shrugged. "I made Perrie upset.. she thinks I'm hiding something from her, but I-I'm really not. I even told Simon and he told me I was being silly. I.. just keep getting this feeling, like they're trying to taunt me through my mind." "Who Jess?" I lowered my voice down to a whisper, "League 78..." His eyes widened, "Okay. I'm gonna give you the best advice I can, go back and to explain what happened. Not that part, she'll be terrified. But, do tell her that you love her and remind her she'll be okay. Walk with your girl sweet pea." I smiled, "Thanks Alex."

He patted my back again and I spun around. Perrie quickly turned her head, as if she was watching me. I stopped and waited for her to catch up, "Still love me?" She walked with her arms crossed, so I hung my arm over her. She chuckled sadly, "I always love you babydoll."

My heart swelled, "I'm sorry princess. I didn't mean to hurt you, I.. it's complicated. But, I swear it's nothing about you, about me, or anyone else here. I just don't know how to word it. As soon as we get home I'll tell you okay?" She nodded. "Okay." Her pink, soft lips suddenly made contact with mine.

"Hey! Lovebirds! Come on!" Jade laughed, red rose to my cheeks as I saw that everyone was watching. Perrie hugged me again, nibbling on my earlobe, "Wanna give them a show?" She whispered in the darkest, huskiest voice she could muster. I slapped her shoulder, but not hard enough to hurt her. "You horny little minx! Not here!" I laughed loudly. She joined, chuckling and wiping the tears from her eyes. Everyone turned back around and we followed in suit. "But maybe later." I muttered and bit my lip. "FUCK YEAH!" Perrie yelled. I couldn't help but laugh.

//

I smiled at the feeling of her hand in mine. Being next to her made me feel like my world was complete. She is the best thing thing that has ever happened to me. "Perrie?" "Hm.. yeah?" She blinked heavily. I didn't bother asking my next question. "Did you sleep last night when I told you too?" I raised my eyebrow at her and she froze. "No.. I.. I was listening to you guys sing the last song, a-and then I just couldn't fall asleep." She miserably leaned in to lie her head on my shoulder. "Baby.. you know you need to sleep." Perrie shook her head. "Yes precious, you really do. Jump." I moved, giving her enough room to get on my back. She snuggled into my neck and held onto my shoulders. "But-" "No buts Perrie, you need sleep." Jade cut in, she must have been listening. The blonde sighed and buried her face into my neck again. I felt warm kisses and I giggled, "I love you princess, but it's time to go to sleep." "Okay.." Seconds later she was out like a light.

"I feel so bad for her.. Jade, I have a question for you." Simon said quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "Y-Yes Simon?" Leigh leaned over and whispered something in her ear. "Now.. I don't mean to upset you, but did Ja- you-know-who ever deprive you guys of anything?" She looked down, but snapped her head back up instantly, as if she was afraid.

I held onto Perrie, now noticing we were closer to camp. "Umm.. yes, well- sometimes. Like, if we didn't do something by a certain time, no meals." "I.. I was afraid and a slow worker so I didn't get done on time often." She choked up, releasing her hand from Leigh-Anne's and lifting her sweatshirt to just under her bra. I gasped, I mean, everyone else did to; the sight was horrific. Her ribs were clearly seen, visible from every angle. All 24 of her ribs poke out through her tan skin. "H-He starved you?! How fucking dare he?!" Simon hollered, making Jade shiver and sob. SImon released all of his bottled up anger, strings of curse words falling out of his mouth, With every shout that came, Jade whimpered, and Leigh held onto her tighter. "Simon! Calm down!" Andre and Harry held onto his shoulders. Jed and Alex ran to the small Geordie, double checking if she was okay.

Louis ran his thumbs over her ribs, mumbling about an eating disorder. I stood, shocked that James could actually be such a horrible person when his brother was one of the worlds kindest souls. He nudged Jades top up a bit more, to see how small she really was, that made Leigh unhappy. She slapped his hand away, "Dont touch her like that you rapist!" She yelled. There was so much commotion, Perrie started to stir on my back. Whether she woke up or not, I had to do something. "Leigh! He's just helping her!" She apologized, guilt in her eyes. Simon was still yelling, pounding his fists against the wall after he found out what his brother could manage.

"Jesy.. I'm scared. What's going on?" Great, they woke my angel up. Sleep was the one thing she needed to make her the bubbly princess I love, and they ruined it. "EVERYONE! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" All heads turned to me. Perrie hopped off my back, knowing I was about to explode. "YOU MY FRIEND, NEED TO LEAVE HER BE AND WE WILL FIGURE THIS OUT ONCE WE'RE HOME." I shouted at Louis, he put his hand up in surrender and backed away from Jade.

I walked up to Simon, getting in his face and gritting my teeth. "YOU. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED. STOP THROWING A TANTRUM LIKE A TWO YEAR OLD CHILD AND MOVE ON. YES, YOUR BROTHER IS A FUCKING MANIAC, BUT YOU NEED TO GROW A PAIR AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR PATHETIC LIFE." I snapped, grabbing Perrie's hand and walking in front of everyone.