•Why• Shawn Mendes •

5.The Date

Previously
"Please don't cry, Karlee, It's Okay I promise, we're gonna be okay, we're going to get through this together" Shawn whispered, kissing my head.

Shawn's POV
I'm so nervous. I'm not entirely sure why, I mean should I be? It's not like I haven't took Karlee on a date before, but I want to make this perfect, I want to show her who she first fell in love with, not the side where I beat her up till she no longer screamed in pain but let it happen.

I've never really been the one to show someone how I'm feeling, good or bad, but with Karlee I know I'm going to have to open up to her, not just about how I feel about her but also the reason why I put her through constant pain.

The date I had planned wasn't one of those cliche dates, well I don't think anyway, the last date we went on was at a cute little café, I sang her and wrote a song, Falling all in you, that was the very first time I ever opened up to her and to anyone to be honest.

Tonight I planned was a little dinner in the garden, with candles and pillows and blankets, it wasn't at a table if anything it was on the grass do we could look at the stars, now I say it it does sound rather cliche, but anyway I was going to sing her a song again, this time it was called in my blood its about how I'm feeling at the moment. Not with Karlee but with my in general.

~skip to date~

I told Karlee to dress in something comfy, so I knew she'd dress up in leggings and one of my hoodies, she always wore them even though I hurt her she still wore my clothes.

I hadn't made any food, I can't cook to save my life, so I ordered her favourite food, chicken nuggets and chips from McDonald's (rip maccies till December) and I went to the shop earlier and got a lot of chocolate and sweets.

Waiting for Karlee at the bottom of the stairs I started overthinking, what if things don't go right? Or she gets upset or maybe even I do? Before I could carry on thinking about the possibilities of what could happen I heard her gentle footsteps pattering on the stairs, I looked up and even though she was only in sweatpants she still looked beautiful.

Smiling at her, I took her hand gently, remembering that she could still be in pain, I led her to the kitchen and covered her eyes. She immediately tensed up at the fact she didn't know what was happening,

"It's okay baby, nothings gonna happen to you" I whispered in her ear and she relaxed almost as soon as she heard my voice.

I led her into the garden and gently managed to get her to sit down. Taking the blindfold off of her, I awaited her reaction, it was cute. She looked like she was going to cry but was also smiling so hard.

"Shawn.." she started, "You didn't have to do all this, I would have been happy with just a movie"

Smiling even harder I told her that i did, that I needed to make up for it.

"Karlee, baby, the main reason I wanted to do this was to apologise to you, and to tell you why I hurt you in the most inhumane way possible. Do you remember when I sang you, "falling all in you" how that was about how I felt about you?" She nodded, "well I'm not good with saying how I'm feeling so I wrote another song. I'm not sure how it's going to sound but here goes.

*Play video*

"I love you so much Karlee and I know what I did changed your life in the worst ways and you'll probably never forget that but I do love you. And I want to make it up to you."

"Shawn.." I whispered, "Thank you, for all of this, it really does mean so so much, but I.. I just need some time to think..you know?"

All I saw was him nodding his head slowly, and then he walked away, not looking back at me. What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to lead him on if I wasn't too sure, and I definitely didn't want to say no and break his heart.

Grabbing my phone, I called Assetou, I needed her opinion on this, what if she didn't want me to, just incase I fell into a trap again. Or maybe she wanted me to?

"Hey, sorry I couldn't answer, I'm busy right now studying or whatever, I'll call you back when I can, bye!"

I guess I was going to have to think on my own, list the pros and cons.

To start with, I did miss this Shawn, I missed him laughing with me, taking me on dates and just being near him when he's not angry.

But then there's the fact that he could change at any second. He could just try and get my trust back and hurt me much harder.

The pros definitely outway the cons but I just feel like I'm always going to have my guard up, and I might not ever let it down.

I made my decision up, it was pretty loud and clear once I thought about it, I still wish that Assetou would have answered me though, I'll just fill her in later.

To:Shawny 🌹❣😈🍁
Hey, where are you? We should talk now, I know what I want.
(Sent 6:45pm, delivered 6:45pm)

To:Shawny 🌹❣😈🍁
Shawn? Where are you? I've looked in every room, where are you?
(Sent 7:11pm, delivered 7:13pm)

To:Shawny 🌹❣😈🍁
Please answer me Shawn, I'm getting really worried.
(Sent 7:37pm, delivered 7:37pm)

To:Shawny 🌹❣😈🍁
Please call me back, or send me a message, I don't care, but please Shawn I'm scared something's happened to you
(Sent 8:49pm, delivered 8:49pm)