His Flower || UNDERGOING EDITING

Not All Pasts Are Pretty

A/N: Since I didn't go to school today because of my sickness, I decided to publish a chapter today for all of my lovely bookworms and cinnamon rolls. I'll probably write Jimin's version of this sometime in the next few days. Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT. And remember to stay warm and safe :3

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Ara's P.O.V.

Sometime late in the night, the silence in my room is broken. After the heated argument with Jimin, the nightmare's that used to haunt my childhood resurface, but images of my dad in those dreams are vividly replaced with Jimin's body. I quickly rises in my bed, throwing the blankets off of my sweaty legs and arms. It feels like my eyes are about to dry out from all of the crying within the past week. This is the second time tonight.

There's silence in the apartment. My mother's out with another drunkard, leaving me by myself with my heavy breathing and dangerous mind. My once beautiful lips are now dry and the  voluminous hair that covers my head is now in tangles. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall, taking a deep gulp. 

Looking over at my clock, I reach to grab my phone and message someone that's been helping me keep my ground for the last few days. Namjoon. 

Within minutes I hear a easy knocking on the white door and tip toe out of my bed to let him in. Before completely opening the door, I look out the peep hole. Yep, it's him. 

As soon as I open the door Namjoon holds out his arms and captures my lovesick body. As a habit now, he brings his hands to rub smooth patterns in my back; knowing that this usually calms my nerves. I bury my head into his chest and stay there for a few minutes. 

I remember the first time I ever asked Namjoon to come to my house. He sounded surprised and taken back, but given my situation he knew that it was better to ask him than Jungkook. All that I would get from Jungkook is a lecture on how I should have listened to him in the first place. 

But, it doesn't matter how right I think Jungkook is about Jimin; I still miss him. From the moment I wake up to the moment I let myself slip into the horrors of my nightmares, Jimin, is the only one on my mind. I'll pick up my phone and scroll all the way down to his contact, hovering my thumb over the call button. But never having the courage to actually press it. When I walk in the university halls, I never see him. Even when I walk to my house and peek into the Studio, he's not there. 

"Have you eaten today?" Namjoon's warm tone brings me back to reality of my life. I tilt my head up to him and slightly shake my head no. His face droops at the answer, and he walks me slowly to the couch, helping me sit down, and goes to the kitchen to find me something to eat. 

That's another thing that's happened since Jimin and I stopped talking. I haven't had the appetite to eat much of anything. Everything has the same taste, the same smell, and the same old look. 

"Here, drink this." Namjoon comes back in the room with a warm bowl of some miso soup my mom brought home one night while she was out. 

He sits down beside me on the couch and I can feel the little dip in the cushions. Once he's sat down he inches his way closer to me, and holds out a spoonful of the soup for me to eat. I furrow my eyebrows at his actions. 

"What? I'm a gentleman to a lady." He smiles, letting his dimples show through. 

"You really don't have to Namjoon." I feel bad for even asking him to come here. It's not his fault for what happened to me, so why should I inconvenience him with my problems?

"As a friend of you, and a food loving Jin, it is my job to make sure everyone is full with all delicious foods!" His comment makes me smile a little, and I give in. Taking the spoonful of soup. 

The taste was homely and warm. 

"Jimin used to take care of me when I was sick..." I let the thoughts slip past my tongue. My head tilts down, letting my hair cover my face. Namjoon just sits there, ready to take on whatever emotions pour out of me. His gaze never leaves my face. "I-I miss him Namjoon...I really do.." 

Quite sniffles and weeps come out and I allow myself to drift to Namjoon. 

"Why did he have to do that?" I ask to no one in particular. I just need to get it out. And Namjoon is the only other person in the apartment. 

"I don't know, I honestly don't." He brings me closer, wanting to protect me from my own hazards.

"I want him back Joon. I need him." My silent cries turn into sobs of pleading and desperation. "I don't know what to do anymore." 

One of the things I admire about Namjoon is that he doesn't sugar coat things that don't need to be. 

"Don't let him break you. That's what you can do. All of us thought that he changed, but it's hard for something that's already dead to grow. We all wanted to believe that you were different to him, even Jungkook believe it or not. But if you ask me, I honestly think that you mean something to him. I've seen the way he looks at you when your not watching, I've heard him talk about you when you weren't in the room, and I've seen his look when someone tries to hurt you. He just needs time." All of this information at once confuses me. Don't let him break me? But I mean something to him?

"Why does he need time?" I pull my head back from his shirt and look up at him like a child looking up at their older sibling. 

Namjoon gives me a small frown.

"Jimin's broken. He has been for a long time. Between his parents not supporting him and what happened between him a Jungkook years ago-"

"What happened?" 

His eyes close and he takes in a deep breath. Preparing himself for what he's about to tell me. 

"A few years ago, before fuck-boy Jimin, Jimin had a girlfriend. You could never separate them. He'd heed to her every word, follow her around like a lost puppy. He was so blinded by her love that he never noticed what she was doing the few moments they were apart. But I remember the day that Jimin found out that Jungkook had been hooking up with her. Between all of the anger and heartbreak he was never the same. He was convinced that he was going to marry this girl, and she just goes and screws his best friend. I can't remember the last time Jimin has had a real relationship after that. Or even a normal talk with Jungkook."

The whole time I was watching him explain this to me. Watching how he fidgeted with his fingers, and never once looked me in the eye. All of the pieces were starting to fit together. Why he was so protective, and easily triggered by me with Jungkook. 

"After that, he started doing drugs, and hooking up with girls in the wrong crowd. We didn't see him for weeks at a time and when he would come back, Yoongi and I would lock him in a room at one of our apartments. Letting the drugs and alcohol sweat out of him. His screams and pleads he would yell to use, just to have another taste of liquor, or another cigarette, haunted my dreams for a long time. It was so hard watching him destroy himself from a far, knowing that our efforts of helping him were wasted." He pauses and finally looks down at me and smiles. 

"And then you came along. Ara. Ever since that first time Min brought you to lunch to eat with all of us, we never heard the end of it. He was different. I haven't seen him touch a cigarette, a beer, or a joint since. You did something to him and we can't thank you enough." His smile grows wider and he places his hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "So can you forgive him?"

The question that has been racking my brain for weeks, finally, is in need for a true answer.  

"I...I want to talk to him." I blink a few times and look at Namjoon. He runs his fingers through his hair staring off into space. 

"I think I know the perfect man to ask." Namjoon reaches into his back pocket and takes out his phone, and scrolls till he find who he's looking for. A hint of excitement sparkles in his eyes. 

"Taehyung."