A Dangerous Friend

Say It Ain't So

Hi. I know Tori's acting kind of stupid here, but I've known plenty of otherwise sensible, intelligent people do the same, sadly.

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"Jade..."

Jade didn't want to hear it. She'd been practicing this speech on the road for eight hours, and she was damned if it was going to go to waste. "Please, just give me two minutes, okay? That's all I ask. Please?"

Tori didn't say anything, so she plunged in. "Look," she said, "I know what you said, and I get it, I really do. I don't want to make you unhappy, Tori, that's the last thing I want. I know you've got your life with Carla and you don't want anything to upset that, and I know I've got no right to roll up here and make things difficult for you, not after the away I treated you. You don't owe me anything. But..." She sighed. "I don't want to pressure you, I know that's only going to make things worse. You're stuck in the middle, and that's not fair to you. But I have to know. I have to know if you meant it. Because I don't think you really want that, Tori, not after everything we went through at school. Not after last week. If you do, if you really think this is for the best, then I understand, and I'll walk away. But I have to hear it from you. Honestly. Face to face."

There was a long pause.

"Please, Tori," she said, quietly. "I've come a long way."

Tori's shoulders sagged as she looked away, lips set tight, and Jade felt her world slipping away. You've lost. You're on your own. After a moment, she reached for her hat. "I see," she said, clearing her throat and trying to keep the tremor out of her voice. "Then I guess I'll-"

She didn't get any further, because the other end of the hat was pinned down by Tori.

"No."

Jade looked up into sad brown eyes. "No, what?" she said, cautiously. "No, you don't want that, or no, I can't have my hat?"

Tori let go of the hat. "No," she said, softly. "I don't want that."

Jade let go of the breath she felt like she'd been holding since she walked into the diner. "Then why?" she said. "Why would you say that? I mean, I know Carla doesn't like me, but she can't just tell you what to do."

"She didn't tell me to do it."

"What? Then-"

"She just said she'd leave me if I didn't."

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They sat in silence on the bench behind the diner. Tori had negotiated a ten minute break with Helen, but it seemed as though they were going to spend most of it staring at the air-conditioning. Jade stole a glance at her companion. She'd always thought of Tori as childlike in many ways, an ungainly tangle of arms and hair, with a well-meaning smile and a cute nose. But seeing her like this - in profile, hair blown back by the breeze, her face lined with the cares of the world - she realized that she was looking at a grown woman, and felt a slight pang of guilt. She wondered if Tori knew how beautiful she was, or whether her years of belittlement at Jade's hand had left her diminished somehow, uncertain of her own worth.

"Tori..."

"This hasn't been easy for me, Jade," Tori said, quietly. "I know I made it sound like it was, but it wasn't." She paused, and looked up at the skyline. "This place," she said, "it's not like L.A. It's a small town. People look at you when you go out, there's graffiti in the washroom. There are bars you can't go to together, places where they'll... places where you're not welcome."