<Jack>
Madness. Everything around me was falling apart. Nurses and doctors were running around frantically. I saw two men walk up to them. By the look on their face it wasn't good news. They nodded their heads and ran out to get another man. I recognized these men. One was Wyatt's dad and the other was Jaeden's. And the man they got was Finn's dad.
I stood up and walked over to them. They took their attention off of each other and looked at me. "Is he...is he okay?" I asked. I hadn't realized how broken I really was. I could hardly speak. My voice was so low and so dull I'd be surprised if they heard me.
Jaeden's dad took a step forward but Finn's dad pulled him back. "I got this." Finn's dad told the two. Wyatt's dad dragged Jaeden's away and left me alone with Finn's dad.
He and Finn looked alike. They had the same brown eyes and facial structure. He looked me in the eyes and smiled. "Jack, he's in a coma and we're not sure if he'll wake up." Mr. Wolfhard broke it to me. I started to crumble. I fell to my knees and cried. He had to wake up. He has to. "I want you to see him." He adds. I look up, confused. This is not the same man Finn described to me. "I've been a bad father his whole life and I'll never be able to make it up to him. I know there's something going on with you two and he'd want to see you more than he'd want to see me. Please, Jack. Go." I stood up and nodded my head.
He lead me to the door and left me. I hesitated. I had no idea what I was about to see but I knew he needed me and I needed him. I opened the door and peeked inside. I could see Finn's lifeless body laying there helplessly. He was full of life just a day ago, how could this be?
I pulled up a chair and looked at him. He was hooked up to so many wires and machines. I held his hand and it was cold. My eyes started to water and I wanted to look away. "Finn," I trembled. I wanted for him to so badly wake up at this moment and hug me. I want him to be okay. I want to tell him I'm sorry for leaving. I just want him.
"Please, wake up. I don't know what I'd do without you." I began. "It's all my fault. I should have never left you. I should have been a good boyfriend and stood by your side through thick and thin. And I didn't...and I let you down." A tear fell out of my eye. This isn't happening. It can't be happened.
I bring his hand up to my mouth and I kiss it. "I know you're going through something, but I promise you I'll help you. We'll do it together." Tears kept flowing out of my eyes and I stopped trying to fight them back. What was the point, anyway? Someone sees I'm vulnerable and takes advantage? I've lost so much I have nothing to lose. So why not lose it all.
"Remember when you snuck through my window and you almost fell. But I caught you and you fell on top of me in my room." I laughed at that memory. That was our first kiss. It was magical. Only if I could feel his lips on mine just once more.
"And remember when we went to the park at one a.m? You said you loved coming here at night because it was like you were in your own world. That when times got hard you had a place to escape. You showed me your world, Finn. And I never got a chance to show you mine." I took a deep breath and hoped this would be like one of those cheesy movies where they wake up at that perfect moment. But that only happens in fairy tales.
"And that's why you need to wake up. Because right now, you are my world." His hand is still in mine. How did this happen? What if he dies? I will never be able to live with the guilt. And my heart would no longer be full. It would be broken into millions of pieces because if Finn goes, so does my heart and everything I am.
"I can't lose you, not now. You're too young to die. One day, we'll travel the world together. And maybe we'll become each other's worlds. And when we get out of the house, you can come over all the time. We can be free and laugh about all the stupid stuff that has happened in the house." I keep trying to distract myself from the truth. The truth that there's a big chance he won't pull through. The truth that we may never leave the house. The truth that deep down, I'm nothing. At school I put on this happy act. But that act only hides the fact that my brother killed himself because he could handle the world. Or the world couldn't handle him. He let all of the bad get to him and he caved. He was too weak to fight and no one was there to help him; be his shield. And I should've been his shield. Now I can never take it back. So I hide my feelings. Because if I do that the world can't get to me. It can't get to me if I'm hiding behind a wall. And if I lose Finn...I have nothing left.
"Finn, I can't live without you." I add. My tears stop and I'm just numb. I have no feeling and I don't want to feel.
"I love you, Finn."
I hope he can hear me. I hope that my love can save him. Maybe it's too soon in our relationship to be in love but that's how love works. It's funny and also fucked up. Because some people never find love. Some people search in the wrong places. Love breaks people. Love heals people. Love is dangerous.
But maybe, just maybe, Love will give Finn the strength he needs. Because if he goes, I go.
