Blessed (a larry stylinson fanfiction)

chapter 12

Chapter 11

Tuesday, October 16th

Harry’s POV

“I lost control and I couldn’t stop myself. Eleanor seemed fine, hell she was the one pushing it so far, but I worry that she was just pretending and will end up having a breakdown later.”

Louis had called me right after it happened. He was upset. I rushed over to his place and we sat on his bed as he explained to me what happened.

“I screwed up didn’t I?” Louis asked, his eyes examining my reaction helplessly.

I didn’t know what to say. My personal emotions about the matter where starting to cloud my judgment and I was barely hanging on.

“I don’t think I can answer that.” I said honestly.

Louis nodded slowly and I could see was losing it.

“I’ve done something horrible.” I mumbled. “I can never take this back! At least tell me that you know what it’s like…having a girl on top of you, pushing you, wanting you…tell me you wouldn’t be able to control yourself either.”

I almost laughed out loud.

Of course I’d be able to control myself.

I mentally changed to question to: Would I be able to control myself if you were on top of me, pushing me, wanting me?

I knew the answer would be hell fucking no.

I shook my head. “I understand temptation. It can lead the most wonderful of men to make great mistakes.”

God that sounded so cheesy and fake.

It was true though, I suppose.

Without temptation I wouldn’t have made some of my biggest mistakes.

“Fuck.” Louis cursed, tossing his head back and tangling both his hands in his hair, messing it up even more. “What if I’ve completely ruined the best part of my life? I won’t be able to live with myself if I’ve hurt Eleanor.”

I felt my heart break a little.

“Don’t worry about it yet. For all you know she’s fine and is going to stay that way.” I reached out and rested my hand on Louis thigh and his head snapped back to face me, his eyes full of an unreadable emotion.

“When did you get so wise, Styles?” Louis asked, squinting his eyes at me, a smile finally cracking on his lips. “Seriously, where would I be without you?”

I just smiled at him instead of answering.

I went home after that and didn’t know what to do with myself. I knew I was going to breakdown if I didn’t do something to distract myself.

I knew what I had to do to stop myself from going down the dark path to the place I used to be until Cher pulled me out of it.

I got in my car after telling my mom I was going to Cher's for the night, which wasn't weird because we had sleepovers a lot.

I drove to the bar I would sneak into from time to time when I was feeling particularly lonely.

Or horny.

I nodded to the bouncer who knew me well.

"How’s it going tonight for ya Harry? Wait isn't it a school night?" he said looking at me quizzically.

"Hey Darrell." I said with a nod, avoiding his question as he stepped aside to let me in, not bothering to ask for my ID because he knew it was fake.