There All Along

Chapter Two

I walk into school to find Sam. Sam is a guy in my year that is in a few of my classes, most actually, but we don't talk much. He has his group of friends and I have mine. I don't have anything against Sam and vice versa, but he's just not really my type of person. Maybe if I got to know a bit more about him?

Sam smiles over at me so I smile back. Sam has a pretty smile, I've never really noticed that about him before.

"Good morning, Anna," Sam greets me.

"Morning, Sam," I reply back. He takes one step towards me and opens his mouth a bit, as if he wants to start a conversation with me. But he is pulled back by one of the many girls that fancies him. He looks at her. Her name is Jemma. Jemma's pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough but not the perfect "role model" for me, (basically she's not good enough in my opinion) . Sam used to date her but broke up with her within a week because he didn't find her attractive enough well he did but he didn't think it was meant to be. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Sam fancied me. But nah. If he did he would have made a move on me before now? After all, we have known each other for a few years. He's always been a sweet and gentle soul.

I keep on walking down the corridor and can feel Sam staring at me as I vanish off into the distance.

I feel a nudge on my shoulder. I gasp and look at where the nudge came from. Josh smiles and let's out a little laugh, a bit like a chuckle to himself.

"Josh!" I say, but in a jokey way, no way would I ever be mad at him. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?" Josh teases.

"Because.....because......"

"Exactly. Lost for words I see," Josh smirks.

"I guess so."

"Aww come here you," Josh says. He takes my face in his hands and leans in for a kiss. I close my eyes and pout my lips. I love Josh's kisses but he hardly ever kisses me anymore. I hate when he doesn't. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when he does. It's like a group of fireworks are let off into the sky, all beautiful and brightly coloured.

But he kisses my cheek. Well, sort of.

It's more the spot right next to my lips, but not exactly my lips. Do you know what I mean? It's as if he's teasing me. I hate it so much when he does that. But I love him too much to ever get mad at him.

"Josh!" One of Josh's mates exclaims. Josh immediately lets me go and holds up his arm for a high five. His mate high fives him. The guy puts his arm around Josh and they walk on.

"Bye!" I anxiously wave at Josh's back but he doesn't even twitch. I'm not quite sure if he heard me, but he must have.

Just then my best friend Olivia came up to me. "Anna!"

"Hello Olivia," I sigh.

"What's wrong, Anna?"

"Never mind. It's pointless."

"Oh ok," Olivia replies. I can tell she desperately wants to know what's on my mind but she's that type of person that just lets things slide when people don't want to share. But I couldn't tell Olivia about Josh. She would probably tell me to dump him and she would most definitely tell my mum which I do not want. He's in too much trouble as it is right now. He's going to court because there's a case about him apparently raping someone, (which I do not believe because he's such a sweet and innocent person) . He has also been getting into a lot of fights recently which is not good. I tried to convince him to stop but he won't pay attention to me. He just trains harder. It's as if me telling him to stop makes him work harder to achieve his goal: beat up every guy he knows.

He says he gets jealous easily and would easily start a fight with a guy even if they just looked at me for a second. I think it's crazy! But that's just how his mind works I guess. If you ask me, I think it's sweet of him to care about me that much. But I don't think that he needs to cause fights over practically nothing!

"Do you want to hang out with me at lunch?" Olivia asks.

"Sorry, I'm hanging with Josh," I reply, feeling masses of guilt build up in the pit of my stomach. I know how much time Olivia wants to spend with me and don't get me wrong, I feel the same way about her too, but I love Josh and he's my boyfriend so I want to spend as much time with him as possible. I'm obsessed with him. I don't get enough of him.

"You're always hanging with Josh nowadays," Olivia moans, (she means well) . "It's like you have no time for me anymore."

"Oh Olivia, I do. It's just that I need to spend time with Josh."

"You don't. Besides it would only be for one lunchtime. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Deep down I know that Josh would mind. He would act like everything was ok in public. Then he would follow me home and beat me in my room. But I wouldn't dare tell Olivia that. Once I said to someone that Josh accidentally punched me in the eye, I wasn't lying either. Josh found out and he went mental and I mean mental. He started shouting at me, spitting on me, throwing things at me, breaking things just everything bad that you can think of. Well, maybe not everything.

"Come on, what d'ya say?" Olivia asks.

Well.....I'm sure Josh wouldn't mind if it was only one lunchtime. Was what I desperately wanted to say that her.

But I couldn't. It was on the tip of my tongue but the words were strong enough to make me seem speechless.

"I'm sorry Olivia," I sadly reply. "Maybe another time." I hang my head in shame. I couldn't bare to look at her. I felt too ashamed to look at her expression. She was probably gutted. I know I was.

If Josh suddenly became non-abusive to me I would jump to the chance of spending one lunchtime with Olivia. I know she would do the same for me. But it's not like that.....

and I don't think it'll ever be like that.