There All Along

Chapter Fourteen

That lunchtime Josh constantly talks about this girl, Rosie. Her name's Rosemary but everyone calls her Rosie for short. She hates the name Rosemary. She is pretty, skinny, popular and just overall perfect! Her outfits are amazing, her long blonde hair is breathtakingly beautiful, her makeup is on point....just everything about her! She gets all the boys after her and all the girls want to be her. I'm so jealous of her.

"Rosie is amazing! I never realised until now!" Josh exclaims.

"Yeah, she's really pretty," I add.

"Pretty? She's gorgeous! Absolutely stunning! I would jump at the chance of going in bed with her."

I freeze for a minute. Did Josh seriously just say that?! Emm hello? Your girlfriend is sitting right here!!! Your loyal, caring girlfriend who is ugly, fat and clumsy! And might I add.....who is a SLUT!!

I stay silent because I don't quite know how to respond to that.

"I invited her along to lunch today if you don't mind....."

"Oh um, yeah. That's fine. When is she arriving?" I ask nervously.

"Quarter to one."

I look at my phone. Quarter to one. Ugh.

"She should be here any minute then," I say.

"Ah good." Josh looks around to see if he can see her.

Just then Rosie turns up and says, "hi guys!" .

I look at her and feel my heart break in half. Josh was right. She is gorgeous.

"Rosie!" Josh exclaims. He stands up and hugs her. She hugs him back and he kisses her cheek. Shattered. My heart has now shattered into millions of little pieces.

"Hello Rosie," I greet her. Josh lets her go and looks at me.

"Hiya," Rosie responds. Her teeth are so white and her eyes are so blue. My, she's gorgeous!

"Ignore that slut!" Josh says.

"Hey, Josh. That isn't very nice!" Rosie cuts in.

"Well she deserves it. She cheats on me and sleeps with other men." Josh starts to cry and I am fuming. Rosie looks at me. She looks shocked and angry. Nobody would expect that from me. Me of all people. That's why she was so shocked.

"What the hell Josh? I didn't do that!"

"Shut the fuck up you little whore!" Josh shouts. I feel the walls caving in on me again.

"Rosie can we please get out of here? I don't want to be in the company of this little bitch!" Josh moans. I open my mouth and try to speak but no words come out. It's as if Josh has sucked all the words out of my body through my mouth.

"Alright. See you later, Anna," Rosie says before leaving with my boyfriend. Yes, you read that correctly. My boyfriend. Your eyes are not deceiving you.

..........

I go to the canteen and order my favourite;chocolate cupcake with sprinkles. I then go straight back in the queue before eating and order two slices of pizza and yoghurt.

"Someone's hungry!" The dinner lady jokes. I just smile without saying anything. I'm dying inside.

As soon as I pay for my order I rush out of the canteen before anyone can comment or make fun of me. I run to the school toilets. I told myself that I wouldn't ever binge and purge in school but I was so stressed that I was desperate. I felt so guilty and my self esteem was lower than my feet were.

I start to eat the pizza then I purge. I then eat the next pizza then purge. Then the rest of my binge went a little like this:

Yoghurt, purge. Chocolate muffin, purge.

I felt so ashamed and guilty but scarily happy with myself after I was finished. I flushed a couple of times then walked out the cubicle to wash my hands. A girl looked at me and asked if I was ok because she had heard me throwing up. I told her it was my monthly's and she said "ahh!" .

Phew! That was a close one!