My Sunshine ✔

[ 22 ]

"Ah, fuck!" Narco groaned, hitting his head with the heels of his hands. The morning light cracked through the curtains, sending waves of pain through his eyes. There was a glass of water and aspirin on the nightstand.

"How are you feeling?" Lewis asked, leaning on the doorframe for support.

"Bad," Narco slammed his head onto the pillow as if it would help the throbbing pain.

"Should've thought about it before downing five shots of tequila." Lewis scrunched his face, looking at the hungover man with amusement.

"Fuck off, mom," Narco spat, getting up and running out of the room and to the bathroom.

Lewis' eyes followed the figure as it disappeared and a huge splash greeted his ears. His body shook in disgust and he retired to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

He decided to cook french toast and serve it with coffee for a fresh morning. He heard footsteps enter and leave the bedroom before it halted in the kitchen. Glass clinked against the kitchen counter. Narco sat besides the glass.

"Better?" Lewis asked and Narco scoffed, jumping down from the counter and approaching the pale man.

"Better." Narco whispered, resting his chin on Lewis' shoulder. He silently frowned at the rigid muscles. Lewis blushed as Narco dropped a faint kiss on his shoulder. His shoulders dropped.

Narco's frown deepened, looking at the three slices of bread. "Where's your portion?" He asked, looking at Lewis.

"I ate when I woke up," Lewis lied straight through his teeth. It didn't work, though, and he cursed himself for his techniques.

"Have you been skipping meals?" Narco was worried and it was evident by the expression and tone of his voice. He spun Lewis around, grabbing his wrists.

"Don't," Lewis hissed, trying to yank his wrists away and hide it. Narco only tightened his grip and stared.

"You're hurting me, Narco," Lewis cried, trying to free himself but he failed. He didn't have the energy to fight so he gave up. It reminded him of things he wanted to forget. Murky as swamps yet clear as crystals.

The pale wrist was thin. Skin clung to bones. Lewis had been losing weight. Narco looked at the angry man.

"W-Why?" Narco's voice broke as his grip on Lewis' wrist loosened.

"It doesn't concern you," Lewis glared, yanking his wrist free and turning around to continue cooking.

"Tell me, please," Narco snaked his arms around the thin waist. He pressed his forehead lightly into Lewis back. Tense minutes passed, lips moving yet not making a single sound, throat working yet not drawing in air.

"I don't... feel good," Lewis confessed, shifting under such intimacy. "It's because of my parents and nothing else, I promise," He wiggled to free himself from Narco's arms, but it only tightened.

Narco was registering every bit of information into his brain. He kissed the top of Lewis' head and swayed the busy man side to side.

"I'm going to burn the toasts!" Lewis shrieked as Narco carried him away from the kitchen.

"You're so light," Narco said, tone scolding, and plopped Lewis down on the couch. He chuckled and gave a small kiss to Lewis when the writer pouted. Adorable. Narco thought, smiling at the beauty looking at him. He'd look more beautiful with a stuffed face.

"Stay here. I'll cook," He said, leaving the whiny writer behind to make breakfast for them. He hummed quietly to himself, pressing buttons on the coffee machine and slipping mugs and plates onto the counter.

"That's not right," Lewis interrupted Narco's little concert, standing in the doorway.

"What?" Narco grunted, glaring at Lewis who was busy looking at his nails.

"What 'what'?" Lewis questioned the question.

"I told you to sit and do something. Not watch me like a creep," Narco rolled his eyes.

"What if I like watching you?" Lewis smirked, challenging Narco with a strong gaze.

"Would you like to watch me, Sunshine?" Narco arched his eyebrows, smiling at the faltering writer.

"Yes," Lewis whispered under his breath, but Narco caught it. Narco smirked as he grabbed the filled mugs and plates. He got a blinding grin in exchange for hot coffee.

"You would?" Narco was savoring the blush creeping up on the pale skin. He advanced towards the shy man and walked past him, skin brushing against soft fabric. Lewis shuddered visibly which made him grin in pleasure.

Narco set the plate down on the table, cocking his head towards the shaky man.

"Sunshine, breakfast's ready," Narco sweetly said, sitting in his own seat and looking at Lewis. Lewis hesitated but sat down besides the artist.

"Say 'ah'," Narco said, bringing a piece of toast to Lewis' mouth. Lewis grinned at the childish behavior of his partner but did as he was told. As soon as the food entered his mouth, he wanted to spit it out. Many people would happily accept the food but something in the back of Lewis's mind nagged him not to eat. It was foreign, crumbly, and did not belong in his body.

Lewis coughed, thumping his chest while trying to swallow the tiny piece.

"What's wrong?" Narco asked, grabbing Lewis' cold hand.

"I c-can't..." Lewis shamefully admitted, avoiding eye contact. What would Narco say if he was seen in such a pathetic state? Narco probably didn't want someone like him. He couldn't believe how he'd landed into such welcoming arms.

"Hey," Narco softly said, lifting Lewis' chin up to look into the brown eyes full of fear. "It's okay, Sunshine. I don't want you to do something like that again, okay? I love you with everything I have. Everything. So, do me a favor and eat, please," He prodded, kissing Lewis on the forehead and pulling the frail man closer to him.

"Okay... it's going to be okay..." Lewis repeated and managed a timid smile. Narco found himself smiling back.

Lewis knew that this wasn't the end. The thoughts were at bay, but it would return someday and leave him broken. It was close, and he was going to break, and it would be the same terrible cycle he craved. He didn't let that get to him because if he let himself be dragged down, he wasn't sure he'd be able to come back. He smiled through the doubt. It felt nice when Narco kissed the back of his hand with a glint in his eyes. Unfamiliar yet unthreatening.

"Eat up," Narco softly said, retracting his hand to grab his coffee mug.

"Thank you," Lewis sincerely said, fidgeting with the small piece of bread before taking a timid bite. He didn't like it but his body yearned for more. His mind didn't agree but he wasn't in control of his body, especially not when food was right there.

He was tired.

"How many guys have you dated?" Narco asked out of the blue.

Lewis choked on his coffee, and coughed heavily to breathe properly. "What?"

"You heard me," Narco was totally interested. He wanted to know and it wasn't wrong, right? It was just curiosity.

"One. But we never got to sex," Lewis cleared his throat, staring at the clear plate with embarrassment.

"Oh," Narco grinned, looking suggestively at Lewis. "So, I'll be your first, right?" He asked, feeling nice and warm inside when he saw Lewis turn red.

"I'll never let you top." He tried to hide his cheeks behind the mug but failed. Narco loved the sarcastic way Lewis rolled his eyes, the tug of his lips when he was confident, the hands that unknowingly seeked warmth.

"Oh, really?" Narco smiled sweetly, eyes glinting with unspoken challenge.

"N— Yes," Lewis looked directly at the mischievous eyes that looked straight through him.

Narco knew that Lewis wasn't that confident, he didn't curl his lips. It didn't bother him one bit. It only made him more attracted to the fidgety man.

"Challenge accepted." Narco smirked, bringing Lewis up with him and pinning him against the wall.