It's my daughters 2nd birthday and I was getting ready with Lucas to go buy a cake. The shop was unfortunately closed yesterday so I'm doing the last minute duties something that became my regular ever since I've become a mother.
It's stressful but I'm managing certainly with the help of my friends. Then there's Lucas, well he's been there by my side as promised since the day we met and I'm so grateful for that.
I moved in with him after getting discharged from the hospital since I was awfully weak and needed support. I knew I couldn't manage on my own and I didn't want to hassle my grandparents even though they said they wouldn't mind.
I'd known him for some time and I fully trusted him even when it comes to caring for my daughter. He looks after her like his own which always makes me wonder why I couldn't have met him earlier. I grew to like him more and more but I needed time to pull myself together.
As much as I hated it, I couldn't ignore that I still had feelings for Taehyung. I don't know if it was that I still loved him but I definitely did feel something for him. There was something that was always there and will always remain to be whether I liked it or not. I just s had to learn to ignore it and move forward, I'm not going to let him hold me back and I was currently winning at that.
I know I'm strong enough to do this for me and my daughter. That's what Lucas said he loved about me, that I'm so courageous even after everything that's happened to me. He's my constant reminder that I'm surviving because of him, he held onto me when I was falling and made me believe that I can do it, I just had to try.
I so badly wanted tell him I loved him but even if Taehyung was the reason I couldn't because I was still holding onto my past, I was still scared. I very well know that Lucas isn't that type of person but my heart just wasn't ready to and I didn't want to accept him if I wasn't doing it wholeheartedly. I just needed time to heal and I was glad he was giving it to me.
Yes he had feelings towards me.
He confessed to me on Valentine's Day a couple months ago before my birthday. I was shocked, I never thought that he would like me like that.
Flashback;
Lucas: Stop moving around so much.
Me: Lucas could I please see now, you're making me feel nauseous.
Lucas: We're nearly there y/n.
His hands were still covering my eyes whilst he lead me somewhere.
Lucas: Okay now.
I could hear his cheery voice whilst opening my eyes and adjusting them to the lights beautifully arranged around me in a set order bringing a huge smile to my face. My eyes wandered over to the red and white big heart box that was placed a few feet away from us.
I was gobsmacked therefore the only words that left my mouth was 'wow'.
Me: You got my favourite chocolates.
He smiled at me before talking a few seconds later.
Lucas: I know that it's only a few months since I know you but since the day I met you, that day on the plane when I sat down beside you.. I couldn't help but stare at you, you could say it was your beauty that caught my eyes even if your mascara was running down your eyes. *we both chuckled* I remember you even wearing that white and pink floral dress that came to your knees so you were cold since it was winter season in America. You were still crying outside and I gave you my jacket and hugged you saying 'everything's going to be fine'. I didn't know why I said it but I knew I had to protect you since I saw the first precious tear that left your eye. It didn't affect me knowing that you were pregnant with another guys baby, in fact it made me want to protect you even more as well as the baby that lived here a while ago. *he touched my flat stomach and I slid off a tear that had betrayed me* I'm getting to know you more and more and I'm just falling for you more harder. There's countless things you do that annoy me but I love it too. The way you brush your hair every morning only after opening the curtains after feeling the warmth of the sunlight on you, *he grinned widely* I hate that you always disturb my sleep but it's worth it seeing your face first thing as soon as my day starts and watching how you struggle to untangle your hair but manage to do it so beautifully and efficiently.
Me: Lucas. *my voice broke down*
Lucas: I know you're not ready yet but I thought I was going to explode if I didn't tell you that I had feelings for you. It was driving me crazy y/n. You're so beautiful and so brave, it's one of the many things i most love about you. I'm not telling you to accept my feelings just yet because I know I have to first earn your full trust and I'm ready to do that.
Me: Lucas.
Lucas: Is that all you're going to say? My name. *he chuckled playfully* I'm nervous as hell cant you tell.
I jumped and hugged him tightly letting my tears stream down.
Lucas: hey, *he said in a low comforting tone* I didn't mean to make you cry.
Me: Shut up! You're too much Lucas. You've been nothing but nice to me since the day I ever met you. You let me stay with you, helped me with my child all these months putting up with my mood swings all through my pregnancy. You brought me back up when I thought I was done. You helped me with everything and that's why I know you're going to hate me for this but I can't accept your feelings for me.
He tried to pull me away from him but I held on tightly.
Lucas: Y/N, I'm never going to hate you, nothing you do or say will ever make me hate you. I already told you I know you're not ready yet but I'm willing to wait until you are. You might still be holding onto your past but I'll be your present and I hope to be your future too. You know why because I'm going do my absolute best in everything I do to make you fall in love with me, slowly and slowly you won't even realise it. *he stroked my cheeks when he successfully managed to look at my crying face*
End of flashback
~~
To be continued✨
Author-nim Hope you enjoyed this:) Feel free to comment and remember to vote and share. Love you all and see you soon.
ni-sha xoxo
••••••
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
