Max and the Crystal Gems

The Plan

"Max. Max, can you hear me? Max!"

Forcing his eyes open, Max gasped for air, feeling like he was coughing up an organ. When he could breath relatively freely again after being choked out, he went to lift a hand to his broken jaw, but found his arms were bound. Blinking and looking down, he saw he was tied to a chair with masses of thick rope- he couldn't move an inch.

"Well fuck."

Max looked up. David's wide, anxious eyes met his. He was tied to a chair just like Max, opposite him.

"Max!" David exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking grand," Max groaned. "How long have I been out?"

"Now long," David said worriedly. "We've been tied up in here for about half an hour, I'd say."

"Right," Max said, thinking fast. "Daniel's sure to come back soon. We've got to think of a plan pronto."

"We've got to be careful, there might be cameras in here," David said fearfully.

"Okay... okay... think, you stupid brain-  think." Max squeezed his eyes shut, his concentration crackling, then suddenly an idea popped into his head. "David!" He cried. "I've got it!"

"What's your plan?" David asked, leaning forward on his chair.

After a pause for effect-
"You've got to seduce him!" Max grinned wickedly.

David blanched.

"What?"

"Yeah, c'mon, you and Daniel have this weird... chemistry," Max said. "I mean, apart from that whole religious cult leader thing, you and him could be brothers! You're practically the same person! The similarities are actually freakish."

"No, I don't think so, Max," David said, looking squeamish.

"David, our escape might depend on this!" Max pressed. "And I don't see you coming up with any ideas."

"But-" David stammered. "But- I wouldn't even know where to begin- how do you seduce someone?"

"It's easy," Max said. "And what do you mean, you don't know how to? You've just got to capture his heart. You've already captured mine."

David's eyes sparkled and went wide with wonder and joy. 

"Really?" He beamed. "After all these years, you finally accept my love and affection?"

"No, you fuck wit!" Max snapped. "That's what I'm saying: see how easy it is to flatter someone into thinking you like them?"

"Ah... oh, I see," David said sadly. "Yes, okay. I'll give it a go."

"Thank you!" Max said exasperatedly.

Pause.

"Makes me wonder..." David said quietly. "If you'll ever accept my love and affection, Max."

Max looked at him.

"Geez..." he said awkwardly. "Look- David, you've seen my parents. No wonder I'm a fucked up little shit who doesn't know how to love."

"Oh, Max," David looked away. "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. It's just, it hurts sometimes, when you pour all your positivity into someone and get nothing in return."

Max felt his stomach clench.

"David," he muttered. "I-"

"It's okay Max. Really. I'm used to it now."

David had that same look about him as when the bonfire wouldn't start: completely hopeless.

Max took a deep breath.

"Look- as I might die tonight, I'll tell you this: David, I love you."

David nearly fell off his chair.

"What?"

"Calm down, idiot, not in a stupid romantic way or anything! Ew!" Max shouted. He look another deep breath. "But... even though you drive me crazy, and I hate your stupid camp songs, and the stupid camp activities, you've always been there for me. Always. No matter how much of a dick I am to you, you always carry on with just as much, if not more, positivity. And even when I'm out of my mind, when I'm sick of the stupid camp, when I'm homesick- as mad as that sounds, when I want to scream, when I want to cry with anger or frustration or sadness, you're always there; you're a constant. You have no idea how comforting that is for me. At home, I don't know if I'm going to get ignored or yelled at. But with you, you're always kind and thoughtful to me, even when I'm terrible to you. So... for that, David, for always being there for me, even when I don't necessarily want it, I love you."