A Dramatic RichJake Fanfic (COMPLETE)

4: Mistake

A/N: Boy, does this chapter get good! This chapter is tagged "tw" for cutting, suicide, inappropriate language, and a lotta sad shit (idk if ppl are triggered by kissing but I gotta be safe so no one yells at me.) Enjoy!

"Oh my God," I don't know if I froze from shock, relief, or both.

Cait: I'm so sorry!

Cait: I thought this number belonged to another patient's best friend!

Cait: I scrolled up through the text and realized I'm texting the wrong person!

Cait: Rich actually woke up and is doing well!

Cait: If you would like to come by, please do!

Cait: Jake?

Cait: Are you okay?

(3 missed calls from Cait)

Cait: Richard Goranski is okay!

Cait: I'm so sorry! I'm new and I kinda screw everything up!

Jake: OH MY GOD, HE'S OKAY?

Cait: Yes! I'm sorry! Agh, I'm a fuck-up!

Jake: It's okay, I'm just glad he's alright.

Jake: I'm on my way!

Cait: See you soon!

I ran to grab my keys and jogged out to car to see Rich who I thought died. This wouldn't be the first time.

I ran faster than I ever ran in that "frisbee golf" team I did during The Squip Year through the parking lot to the front desk. I checked in with Cait and she quickly let me into Rich's hospital room. I thought I'd be happy to see him but I just felt a wave of panic. 

I'm staring at the guy who tried to kill himself. My boyfriend. Cait left so that we would be able to talk alone. I almost started sobbing again, but I held it together. I slowly approached Rich and knelt at his side. "Hey," I smiled. My heartbeat, rapid and loud, drowned out a lot of sound. 

My eyes filled with tears Keep in together for Rich! I told myself, "H-Hey," he stuttered in response. "I-I'm sorry I just thought- like, ya know I couldn't live with you forever a- and what abou-" he ranted before I stopped him. I held his hand tightly. 

"Rich, don't be sorry! I love you, none of this is your fault." he looked at our hands together. His heart rate on the heart rate machine thing went way up. I looked at him concerned, "You okay?" He opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. Something's wrong. Rich, no!

He slid his hand out of my hand and tapped right above (but not on) my cut scars. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh hell. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE SEEN THOSE CUTS. He looked at the white, old ones and the new, red ones. "Wh-" he breathed heavily and his eyes said everything. His beautiful blue/green eyes. "Why- What are the from?" Ohhhhh shit. 

"I- I just- I had a panic attack and I freaked out, I- I couldn't resist. Half of me said do it, the other half said not to and I guess anxiety won... I'm sorry..." I tried not to look him in the eye out of embarrassment.

"I- If you don't mind me asking... what are the old one from?" Oh geez I was hoping he wouldn't notice them. Shit. 

"Jakey..." my heart melted. I realized I hadn't heard him call me Jakey in what felt like a while. "Jakey?" He's adorable when he's trying to get my attention while I'm zonin out... wait... "Oh! Hi! Sorry, I zoned out, thinking, what were you saying?" he giggled. 

"I love my distracted boyfriend!" he touched my hair. "Uh, I was saying -- if you don't mind me asking -- what were those old cuts from?" he asked. 

"I don't mind you asking... I- Remember that time, before you got the Squip and stuff and we were just normal kids in middle school? Before my Halloween Party in 7th grade? You called me the night before and you were... saying you wanted to... you know. We talked and then you didn't respond for a while? Well, I just got back home from my lacrosse lesson and my dad asked if... if I wanted to pick you up so we could set up the decorations together like we did every year? I almost burst into tears. My dad didn't know that I thought you killed yourself. I don't know how I slept that night. I think I cried while watching TV to distract me because you wouldn't answer. I didn't find out until he called your parents and we picked you up and we hung out. I remember... not being able to take my eyes off of your scars. You acted normal... It took everything I had in me not to give you the biggest hug I could. Then when we got to my house, we just decorated casually like nothing had happened last night. I- c-ut myself after I "realized" you were gone. I almost killed myself that night because... because why live if I can't live with you, right?" Rich teared up. His eyes usually say everything. This time they said: I can't believe I let him feel like that. 

His eyes were more sad than mad at himself. "I love you," I told him, "Please don't leave me," I leaned in and he filled the gap. We kissed like we had never been more in love. I pulled away for air. "I listened to the song... the song by George Salazar? Rich, I could never forget you. I love you so much more than you know. You have no idea, Rich." 

"No one's ever loved me as much as you have," Rich admitted. "If a bitch wants to try to one-up me in loving you, then they can fight me! I swear! I'm always gonna love you more than anyone loves anyone. I love you more than Michael loves his headphones and hoodie, Rich," I enjoyed telling him how much I loved him. 

"Holy shit!" he said at the thought of someone feeling more affection for anything more than Michael for his headphones and hoodie, let alone it being him. "Jakey? How did I get so lucky with someone like you?" he asked, I think genuinely confused. 

"I could ask the same thing," I held his hand again, "Can you promise me one thing?" I asked Rich. "Anything," he replied. 

"Can you please promise that when you want to cut or anything like that, call me first? I'll be there, always," he looked so in love and holy shit I'm so gay. (Except I'm pan but technically you can use gay as an umbrella term for all LGBTQ+ terms.)

"Only if you promise to talk to me first, too." he references my arm. "Of course... I love you," 

"I love you, Jakey," 

A/N: OMG so far this story has been super emotional and I've been playing really sad songs to get into the mood of the story! More chapters are coming soon!