In over my head (BTS)

15.

Nae-un ended up spending four days completely bed bound. Despite her protest the boys all agreed on a "better safe than sorry" policy. During that time she was entirely dependent on them. They had to help her do everything, even sit up. If it had been a normal person, who had simply not moved or eaten for three days, they probably would have recovered much quicker. However since Nae-un's soul needed to recover as well, she was practically immobile for those four days, something that frustrated her to no end. There was always at least one of them that took care of her everyday. Nae-un noticed a change in them. She knew she was useful to them so she assumed that was the reason they all seemed so relieved and even happy when she first woke up. But as time went by and they cared for her, she found herself confused. When they helped her they gave off this vibe that she couldn't quite put her finger on. It didn't feel like they were doing it out a need for her abilities but she just couldn't quite figure out why else they would look after her soo much.

"It just feels weird" she said to Handong and SuA one day when they came to see her. "You saved Hoseok didn't you? I'd say the way they see you probably changed a lot after that" Handong mused. "Why? I just did what any good person would do. I wasn't going to watch him die when I knew I could help." Nae-un said confused. SuA shrugged "you don't exactly come across too many good people when you're part of a gang like theirs" Handong nodded in agreement "The world they know is much more cynical Nae-un. What you might see as basic human decency, could seem almost saintly to them. They deal with some of the worst people in this city after all. The bar for kindness isn't exactly high among people like us, especially for people we don't know since you can't know who you can trust in a world like this" "And the people we do know and trust are extremely precious to us. After you saved someone as important to them as Hoseok, they're probably very grateful" SuA put in. "You think that's why they're acting different?" They both shrugged and said in unison "There are probably other reasons too" three of them laughed a little at the fact they spoke in unison, before Handong and SuA said their goodbyes to Nae-un.

Nae-un sat and thought about what SuA and Handong said, long after both girls had left. It had never occurred to Nae-un that the reason for the boys's change in behaviour was gratitude. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Sitting in bed all day, she had plenty of time to think things over and she started to try and piece together where she stood with the seven boys who had been nursing her back to health for the past few days. Something that turned out to be a lot more difficult than she had expected. When she first met them Nae-un had a very strong opinion about them. They were dangerous, greedy, selfish, violent people whom she wanted nothing to do with. They took her freedom, her family, her future, everything that mattered to her. They turned her into a weapon, a tool to help them accomplish their goals. Now she wasn't so sure. They seemed more human than she had given them credit for. Seeing them look out for each other, joking around....it didn't fit with the image she had of them. Jin was the first one of them to really challenge her views. He let her cook with him as a distraction from her stress and fear, he had comforted her when she broke down, he was by far the nicest to her out of all of them from the start. It had felt weird at first but Nae-un was just happy to have Jin as a respite. Now that she had all seven of them looking after her, she didn't know what to think. They seemed to have done a total 180 in personalities.

Nae-un's thoughts were interrupted by Taehyung, who walked in holding a glass of the disgusting potion they had made her drink once every day. "I'm not drinking it" she said flatly as he set it down next to the bed. "You've said that every single time and never, not even once have you kept your word." He deadpanned back at her, yearning a scowl. "That's because you all keep tricking me" "you're the one who keeps falling for it" "Jimin said he'd kiss me on the mouth if I didn't, yesterday. How exactly is that something I fall for? That's just a threat, leave it to the gangsters to find immoral ways to get me to do what they want." "It's medicine Nae-un, stop being so dramatic" "you'd be dramatic to if you had to drink that crap every single fucking day" she muttered "language" "who are you to tell me not to swear? You're not exactly the image of a model citizen y'know " she grumbled. "Maybe not" he admitted with a chuckle "but it feels weird enough to have you talking at all and it just sounds wrong coming from such a tiny person" Nae-un's head snapped back in Taehyung's direction at that comment, she gave him a long unblinking glare, which Taehyung just laughed at. "This is going to piss you off even more but, you know you look absolutely adorable when you're mad, right?" "Are you done teasing me?" She said through gritted teeth "for now. I'm still going to make you take the medicine though"

Hearing that, Nae-un pushed the covers off and forced herself onto her feet. "What are you doing?" "Proving a point" she said bluntly, seeing the blank expression on his face she explained "that stuff is supposed to help my body physically recover, right? If I can make it to my room by myself, without holding onto anything, that means I'm well enough to stop taking the medicine and I can go back to my old room." Taehyung shrugged "go ahead then" She gave one last scowl before she diverted all her attention to herself and each careful step she took. Her legs felt wobbly after not being used for so long and on more than one occasion Nae-un had to fight the urge to grab a piece of nearby furniture or Taehyung, who was following her closely. She didn't like the way he was looking at her. It seemed like he was expecting her to fall and he had a smug look of amusement on his face that Nae-un, being the ever proud and stubborn person she was, desperately wanted to wipe off his face. She jammed her hands deep into her pockets in spite and threw Taehyung a defiant look as she slowly made her way to the door of her room.

When she made it to her room, she plopped herself onto the chair with a look of triumph on her face but said nothing to the mildly surprised Taehyung standing in the doorway. Once she heard Taehyung leave, she dragged the chair into her tiny bathroom and stood on it. There was a small vent just above the mirror. The corners of the metal grate that covered it were rusted and the wall was crumbling around the screws that were supposed to hold it in place.One day while cleaning, Nae-un accidentally bumped into it and discovered that she could easily remove the grate, giving her access to a small open space inside the wall. Her first instinct had been to try to knock out the grate on the other side and escape but after thinking about it she bitterly accepted that was not possible. The grate on the other side seemed to be very sturdy and the hole itself was far too small for Nae-un to fit through. She quickly found another use for it though. Nae-un started to hide some of her few belongings and the little trinkets she occasionally found, inside the vent for safe keeping. Her journal, the plaited leather friendship bracelet Hana had given her, a particularly pretty feather that she had found while sweeping, a patterned steel button that had fallen off one of the boys's jackets and other small pieces of junk that Nae-un would have usually ignored. She pulled out her journal and smiled to herself when she saw the layer of dust on the cover. The dust was undisturbed which meant that Jimin had not found her hiding place.

She brought the journal and the chair to her desk and stared intently at the blank pages as if she was expecting words to miraculously start appearing. She let out a heavy sigh and started to jot down "notes" on each of the members to try and get her opinion on them straight. She started with the easiest one: Jin.