Sam x Reader - Angel

Four

Y/N's P.O.V.

I awkwardly stood outside of the door, raising my hand and knocking.

"Yeah?" A mumbled reply came and I took a deep breath, opening the door.

"Sam? Can we talk?" There wasn't much to see, except Sam with his back turned towards me, wrapped up in his quilt. There was an awkward silence and I closed the door, sitting in a chair by his bed.
"I didn't want to leave, I regretted every second of it, but I was too scared to come back. I was scared of you hating me, of Dean and Cas not wanting me back. I was terrified that you would look at me and want nothing to do with me, exactly like you did yesterday. If you don't want to talk to me or to see me, just let me know. Cas is falling apart trying to look out for you and Dean, so I'm staying to make sure he doesn't. I'm staying to make sure you're all ok."

"I'm fine." I heard Sam whisper. I didn't believe him, his voice was to shaky and he had barely moved since I came in.
"Everything is fine."

"Dean is drinking himself to death. Cas broke down last night and he cried, Sam. I've never been great with helping people, that was always your specialty. So if you are 'fine' I need your help. You owe me nothing, but you owe Cas everything. As soon as everything is sorted, I'll leave again, if that's what you want. But, all I'm asking is for you to help me and if you give me time to explain and tell the truth, I'm sure it won't be as hard for you." I stood up and Sam stayed silent as I left the room.

Sam's P.O.V.

Everything Y/N said, it hit me, hard. I don't think I could ever hate Y/N, yeah I'm upset and hurt, but I don't hate her.
I wanted to tell her that I wasn't ok and I wanted to hug her, but I couldn't. I wanted her to stay and I wanted to help, but I could barely speak.
She was right, I was being selfish and not giving her a chance, but I was scared to open up to her again.
After a large internal debate, I decided to get out of bed and just go for a drive to clear my head.
I got dressed and found Cas in the library, all his attention on the book in front of him.

"Sam?" Cas said in confusion, looking up at me.
"What's wrong?" Taking a proper look at him, Y/N was right. Cas looked a mess.

"I'm going to get some supplies." There was a small smile on his face.

"Yeah Ok, just don't buy any beer or alcohol." I looked at him for a few seconds.
"Dean has temporarily stopped drinking, under orders of Y/N." I nodded my head awkwardly.

"Yeah, do you need anything specific?" The angel shook his head and I headed towards the garage.

~Smol Skip~

When I got back to the bunker, I felt a lot better, more alive. Maybe that was the coffee I drank on the way back. Dean was in the library and I put the bags down in the kitchen just as Y/N and Cas walked in.

"Don't lie to me Y/N, you need sleep." The angel said stubbornly and Y/N sent me a small, awkward smile which I returned.

"I'm fine, Cas. I thought I told you to rest up? You've been stressed out recently, go watch Netflix or something." Y/N yawned but tried to hide it.
"Stop worrying about me." I began to put the shopping away and Y/N took one of the heavier bags, pulling it towards her. She began to put away shopping and Cas let out a sigh.

"If you get hurt, I won't have enough mojo to heal you this time. Compared to normal humans, it takes a lot out of me to heal you." Y/N spun around and grabbed Cas' shoulders.

"I'm not asking you to heal me, I'm asking you to go and rest. You're a lot worse than me, a little sleep deprivation has never killed me. I'll be fine." Cas reluctantly left the kitchen and we continued to put away the shopping.
"You're looking better already. It's amazing what fresh air and coffee can do." I looked at Y/N in surprise.

"How-" she lifted my empty coffee cup out of the bag and I frowned.
"I thought I moved that."

"Don't look so disappointed. I'm glad you managed to get out. Cas mentioned you haven't done a lot of that lately." I ignored what she was saying and took a deep breath.

"I want- explain to me why you left. I know we had troubles, but I'd never had a relationship like that before. I don't know where I went wrong."