flower boy 2 - b. urie

iii - gianna

"gianna." i hear my name and i see cece walking toward me with her arms open. i go to her, letting her embrace me. i wrap my arms around her, squeezing, and allow myself to let out a relieved breath. i didn't think i'd be able to do that for a long time.

   "how's he doing?" she asks in my ear, her words getting caught in a sob. cece pulls out of my arms, putting her hands on my cheeks to cup my face as she looks into my eyes. i take a deep breath in.

   "he's stable." that's all they've told me, and it kills me. i want to know more, i need to know more. she sighs in what seems to be disbelief, taking a step back and plopping herself into a chair against the wall.

   "how could this happen? he's such a sweet boy...he'd never hurt anyone."

   "i don't think he fought back." i whisper, dropping my head as i sit next to her. cece looks at me with wide, teary eyes.

   "what?"

   "i don't think he had any time to fight back. i was inside at the time, and it must've happened so fast because we were only apart for a couple of minutes."

   "what was he doing outside, gianna?" she couldn't know he smoked. he said it would break her heart, and i was determined to keep the secret. it wasn't that big of a secret, and i don't think it'd be that big of a deal if cece knew, but brendon swears it wouldn't be good if she even smelled smoke on him.

   "he just wanted air. we had a long day. i have no clue who jumped him, how many, or why. i wish i had those answers, and i feel like it's my fault because i was too distracted to notice." a heavy feeling sets in my chest and worry begins to swirl in the pit of my stomach. she just stares. at what, i'm not sure.

   suddenly, the doctor comes out, and it's as if all of the air has been sucked from my lungs. he seems nice enough, and his expression is....i can't really read it. as he gets closer, cece and i both stand up, and she goes into hysterics right away.

   "how is he? does he need surgery? how much will it cost? is he breathing? i'm sorry i-" the doctor puts his hand up to silence her. i give her a side hug, hoping to calm her a little.

   "i'm doctor bailes. he's stable and breathing, but not quite awake yet. he still needs time. would one of you like to see him?" immediately, cece steps forward. i don't blame her, but part of me hoped i could. i don't deserve to, though. she looks at me with a hopeful expression.

   "go ahead. you need this more than me." i say this in a hushed tone because of how quiet my surroundings are. she nods, mouthing a 'thank you' to me. i nod back, smiling, and she follows doctor bailes down the hall through double doors.

   i slump back into my chair, letting out a breath that i had been holding in. after an hour and a half of not being able to, i stare at the ceiling and tears start streaming from my eyes, and i can't get them to stop. i pull my knees to my chest and cry, and cry some more, before i eventually drift off to sleep.