flower boy 2 - b. urie

v - gianna

   "your turn." cece says to me once she comes back out to the lobby. she places her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly before i start walking with the doctor. she stops me beforehand. i turn my head.

   "you have to be prepared. he doesn't look the same."

   "i've got it." i say, only halfway confident. i follow the doctor through the double doors into a dimly lit hallway. we take a few turns before we finally get to room with the curtains drawn and a white board next to it on the wall. brendon urie. it makes me want to throw up.

   doctor bailes pushes the door open, and i go in.

   "just push the red button on the bed if you need anything. i'll come get you when its time." he tells me this, and i suddenly feel numb. i nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

   when i turn around, the room is mostly dark with the only lights on being the tv and lights mounted to the wall above the hospital bed. i take a step passed the curtain that divides the room, and my eyes land on him.

   the blood on his face that once stained my pants is now dried or cleaned off. his left eye is severely swollen and purple, and there are cuts on his cheeks, chin, and forehead. his glasses are sitting on a table by the bed, and i notice that one lens is cracked. i take a few steps forward, seeing his face more clear. i don't want to see him like this, but i can't look away.

   his nose doesn't look quite right. it's broken and bloodied. my gaze moves to his hands that are lying flat on the bed, both of them bruised. i wonder which one is broken. brendon's lips are both split in one place or another, and his chest is rising and falling slowly. i go to sit next to the bed, cautious to even breathe in his direction.

   i put my fingers in his hair carefully, and there's dried blood in it. the doctors cleaned him up the best they could, i suppose. at my touch, his eye opens slightly, but it looks like it's difficult for him. i watch the corners of his mouth tug up in a little smile. i smile back, tilting my head.

   "you probably can't talk much, and i'm sure you don't have any energy left," i start, and i notice is head move the slightest bit, side to side. i move my hand down to his cheek, stroking the pad of my thumb on his skin lightly.

   "i want you to know that i love you. i'm not sure how much you remember of the fight or...whatever that was, and i'm so, so sorry i wasn't there sooner, or didn't hear anything or even fucking notice. i'm so sorry." i start to cry, and i promised myself i wouldn't. i see brendon try to raise his hand next to me. that one must not be broken then.

   i grab it, linking his fingers with mine. feeling his skin against mine gives me a sliver of hope. i know he'll recover, the doctors said he'll be just fine, but i won't believe it until i see it with my own eyes.

   "there's school tomorrow. my parents will make me go, i guarantee it. i'm going to ask, but i'm sure you won't be released until late tomorrow. i'll come and see you though, i promise. i'll get all of your homework, and if people ask where you are....well, i don't know what i'm going to say yet, but i'll come up with something. i'm going to be texting you tonight and tomorrow, even if you can't read them, or they don't give you your phone."

   i decide to look around for his phone, and i find it on the register that's under the window and is blowing out lukewarm air into the room. i stand, reaching over to grab it. i unlock the phone with brendon's password, and i check the notifications.

   a few texts and calls from cece, a couple instagram notifications, and i notice texts from a number i don't recognize. part of me wants to click on it, just to see the conversation. i know that brendon wouldn't ever think of cheating or talking to another girl while he's with someone, and i know all of his friends. the other part of me is screaming to give him his privacy and leave it alone.

   i decide to just put the phone on the bed beside him, and i lean down to kiss his cut lips lightly, not wanting to hurt him at all. i feel him try to kiss me back, and a feeling of hope sparks in my chest.

   "i love you flower boy."